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Top crushes of all time
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Default Top crushes of all time - 05-15-2007, 09:16 PM

This thread will deal in accordance to your top picks as they rank in how bad you wanted to pork them. They can be from any part of your life, and can list women who now may look like corned ham. This isn't necessarily a "who is the hottest" list. It's simply a list of girls who you really wanted to bang back in the day, or maybe ones you still want to bang today.

#10 - Niki Taylor
[img]http://www.itsalreadysigned4u.com/shop/media/images/product_detail/nik1.jpg[/img]

Niki Taylor was a total babe back in the early 1990s. She actually still looks very polished today in her 30s. I really wanted to bone her back when I was pretty young.



#9 - Heather Locklear
[img]http://www.celebopedia.com/heather-locklear/images/heather-locklear.jpg[/img]

Another Late 80s/Early 90s crush. Heather Locklear was America's Pamela Anderson before people knew who Pamela Anderson was. Hell she still looks nice today in her 40s. I'd probably still fuck her.



#8 - Jessica Simpson (2002-2005)

[img]http://www.poster.net/simpson-jessica/simpson-jessica-photo-jessica-simpson-6227372.jpg[/img]

During that time period, rarely did I ever see a bad picture of Jessica Simpson either looking horrible or looking like a whore. She always dressed up nicely and looked refined. I really have no clue what the Hell is going on with her today though; she looks like a zombie blow-up-doll these days.



#7 - Jenny McCarthy

[img]http://www.margomargo.com/celebpix/Celeb10.gif[/img]

This is a picture of Jenny McCarthy back when she was on MTV's Singled Out. This is how she always looked. You know, that whole, "give me a hot protein shower" look. I would have taken her up on the offer back then, and I'm sure most others would have too. To the best of my recollection, she was one of the first sluts who wasn't a pornstar to openly act like a slut. It was awesome.



#6 - Britney Spears (1999-2002)

[img]http://www.the-planets.com/britney_spears/gallery/britney-spears-rules.jpg[/img]

What?!? I know what you're thinking, how can Britney Spears be ahead of people like Jenny McCarthy? Honestly, I had to Google her name in specific years, because otherwise I got a bunch of pictures of her current-day disgusting self. From 1999-2002 though, she was the shit, and every guy knew it. Britney Spears owned Hollywood during these years, and for good reason. She was a total slut (still is), but back then it actually turned you on instead of making your dick fall off.



#5 - Eva Mendes

[img]http://images.askmen.com/galleries/actress/eva-mendes/pictures/eva-mendes-picture-1.jpg[/img]

She may not be a visually stunning as some of the previous girls (although she certainly is no slag herself), but she has this thing about her that I can't really pinpoint. I'd eat dinner off of her ass (out of her ass, Hell maybe even inside her ass). That's all I have to say.



#4 - Jenna Jameson (1996-2002)

[img]http://studentwebs.coloradocollege.edu/~ew_baer/images/1179027076-2011916331-jenna-jameson-1024x768-218319_002.jpg[/img]

Doesn't matter what picture I use, since Jenna looks different in every single picture, and I'm not even exaggerating about that. She looks like hammered shit these days, but she was awesome in her prime. Despite her popularity today, she wasn't really as well known as some of the mainstream (non-porn) models, so she's only #4 because of this. There wasn't a big market to easily get porn (videos) for free on the Internet, so I never really caught on until she was probably past her prime.



#3 - Carmen Electra

[img]http://eyes1.busythumbs.com/users/a/ahemes/eyes1/images/Carmen_Electra038.jpg[/img]

Few women are able to maintain the exact same level of visually stunning beauty with age, but Carmen Electra is one of those women. At times, I think she may even look better today than she did 10 years ago. Either way, I'd probably let her fart in my mouth.



#2 -Pamela Anderson (1993-1997)

[img]http://hollywood.outsidethebeltway.com/wp/wp-content/uploads/2006/04/pam_anderson_baywatch.jpg[/img]

I don't think there's many men who would argue that in any conversation in bars, frat houses, or locker rooms across the nation from 1993-1997 when talking about people you'd fuck, Pamela Anderson was usually the first name mentioned. In 1993, I was 8 years old. Pamela Anderson is pretty much the reason I hit puberty at 8 years old. Her tits were just so ridiculous. I loved it. I mean, who else would be able to pull off a movie contract that everybody involved in the project KNEW it was going to be a piece of shit, but didn't care because it was going to make money?

[img]http://www.impawards.com/1996/posters/barb_wire_ver1.jpg[/img]


So who the fuck is going to beat Pamela Anderson? Answer: somebody most people would say, "who?" at.




#1 - Briana Banks (2000-2003)

[img]http://galleries.pornstardollars.com/galleries/briana/02/03.jpg[/img]

[img]http://www.blissbox.com/largeimages/imgVDF6435.jpg[/img]

[img]http://i143.photobucket.com/albums/r147/TJH_UA/Briana-1.jpg[/img]


This probably isn't very fair to the others on this list, because, yes, she is a pornstar. Not just any pornstar though. Think the Barry Bonds of pornstars. A pornstar with a sex steroid. I've seen hookers in Miami more conservative than this girl when it comes to sex. So why is she in it for only 4 years? Because her physical attractiveness has plummeted extremely fast due to thorough drug use and the fact that when you think "filthy whore," Briana Banks is one of the first to come to mind. She looks like beef jerky these days, but she was THE FUCKING SHIT for the 3-4 years she was good for. Perhaps it was that lonely night I watched her get jackhammered en route to breaking a king size bed (literally), or perhaps it was that other time when she got throat fucked by a dude with emphatic glee. She probably wins every single category when it comes to sex acts. It's hard to argue with this when Jenna Jameson herself said Briana Banks would be the first person, male or female, on this planet that she would fuck. I think Jenna Jameson deserves to be a rocket scientist, because I really can't think of a better answer to that question.
  
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