to the question on the server note, before i moved i was on cable modem.  go to 
http://www.dslreports.com to check your UPLOAD speed.  if it at least 250 you should be able to host a 8 man dedicated server just fine.  just remember to take use of maxping and autokick.  
to the question on leaning.  it is not only a server rule, but also a clan rule.  leaning around corners is fine, but leaning back and forth during a gunfight IE: biding your keys, is considered cheap and to most people is cheating.  leaning like that is not allowed on either of our servers.
to the question about realism, i currently only have remove weapon mods on at the time, as i have just started MY server, i am not sure what the other server had running as far as realism.  and you are more than welcome to come in and play anytime you would like.