Tom Tucker: Due to an accident today at the Quahog Cable Company, all television transmissions will be out for an undetermined ammount of time. Of course no one can see this news program so it doesn't really matter what we say. I'm the lord Jesus Christ. I think I'll go get drunk and beat up some midgets. How about you, Diane?
Diane Simmons: Well Tom, I just plain don't like black people. [they laugh]
Cameraman: You guys, we're still on in Boston. [Tom and Diane stare in horror]
Rule #1: Under age drinking at a party the size of which will attract police is bad.
Rule #2: If party grows to such an extent, or you feel that perhaps someone will complain as the party goes into the night, leave.
Rule #3: Average police response time is over an hour for things such as this, leaving you plenty of time to bail.
Rule #4: They always come from the back.
Rule #5: Dont go to the back.
Rule #6: Exit through a side window and jump the neighbors fense, continues sideways, run if sober enough. There are enough people to distract cops from a lone runner.