Ireland declares war on Iraq!

ninty · **Ireland declares war on Iraq! -** 10-02-2002, 04:16 PM

You Irish guys will like this one:

Saddam Hussein was sitting in his office wondering whom to
invade next when his telephone rang.

"Hallo, Mr. Hussein!" a heavily accented voice said.

"This is Paddy down at the Harp Pub in County Sligo Ireland. I
am ringing to inform you that we are officially declaring war on you!"

"Well, Paddy," Saddam replied, "This is indeed important news!
How big is your army?"

"Right now," said Paddy, after a moment's calculation, "there is
myself, my cousin Sean, my next door neighbor Seamus, and the entire
dart team from the pub. That makes eight!"

Saddam paused. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have one million
men in my army waiting to move on my command."

"Begorra!"! said Paddy. "I'll have to ring you back!"

Sure enough, the next day, Paddy called again.

"Mr. Hussein, the war is still on! We have managed to acquire
someinfantry equipment!"

"And what equipment would that be, Paddy?" Saddam asked.

"Well, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Murphy's farm
tractor."

Saddam sighed. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 16,000 tanks
and 14,000 armored personnel carriers. Also, I've increased my army
to 1-1/2 million since we last spoke."

"Saints preserve us!" said Paddy. "I'll have to get back to
you."

Sure enough, Paddy rang again the next day. "Mr. Hussein, the
war is still on! We have managed to get ourselves airborne! We've modified
Harrigan's ultra-light with a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four
boys from the Shamrock Pub have joined us as well!"

Saddam was silent for a minute and then cleared his throat. "I
must tell you, Paddy, that I have 10,000 bombers and 20,000 fighter
planes. My military complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air
missile sites. And since we last spoke, I've increased my army to TWO
MILLION!"

"Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!" said Paddy, "I'! ll have to ring you
back."

Sure enough, Paddy called again the next day. "Top o' the
mornin', Mr. Hussein! I am sorry to tell you that we have had to call off the
war."

"I'm sorry to hear that," said Saddam. "Why the sudden change of
heart?"

"Well," said Paddy, "we've all had a long chat over a bunch of
pints, and decided there's no way we can feed two million p.o.w.s."

10-02-2002, 04:48 PM

I realize that this is a joke but I just had to mention that not even the US has 10000 bombers and 20000 fighters.

Mr.X · 10-02-2002, 04:49 PM

...yes, well in any event...I think the Irish should hold off on any invasion until
all diplomatic attempts at a peaceful resolution have been exhausted...... oOo:

Star85 · 10-02-2002, 05:05 PM

Well I'll tell you I thought it was pretty good.

Low spark · 10-02-2002, 05:07 PM

George W. Bush is Irish?

ninty · 10-02-2002, 05:59 PM

[quote="Sgt Stryker":9a602]I realize that this is a joke but I just had to mention that not even the US has 10000 bombers and 20000 fighters.[/quote:9a602]

I didn't write it. I just copy and pasted it. evil:

geRV · 10-02-2002, 06:43 PM

eek:

Its always "paddy" isn't it. eek:

Mr.X · 10-02-2002, 07:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gerard

eek:

Its always "paddy" isn't it. eek:

...not necessarily......erm, whats Irish and sits around swimming pools?.....Paddy O'Furniture...... eek:

Pyro · 10-02-2002, 07:12 PM

that Sean guy spells his name the queer way.

geRV · 10-02-2002, 07:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pyro

that Sean guy spells his name the queer way.

That is possibly the most retarded thing i have ever read. Since when do "queers" have a certain way of spelling names? oOo: oOo:

Pyro · 10-02-2002, 07:45 PM

I think you know how the name "Sean" "Shawn" and "Shaun" are pronounced

two of the names above are actually spelled like they sound....one should be said along the lines of a word like "Scene".

Bean 2 · 10-02-2002, 07:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gerard

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pyro

that Sean guy spells his name the queer way.

That is possibly the most retarded thing i have ever read. Since when do "queers" have a certain way of spelling names? oOo: oOo:

Since pyro said so.

Pyro · 10-02-2002, 07:49 PM

[quote="Bean 2":6bc77]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gerard

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pyro

that Sean guy spells his name the queer way.

That is possibly the most retarded thing i have ever read. Since when do "queers" have a certain way of spelling names? oOo: oOo:

Since pyro said so.[/quote:6bc77]

cool:

Recycled Spooge · 10-02-2002, 08:14 PM

[quote="Low spark":b9c80]George W. Bush is Irish?[/quote:b9c80]
Nice one! I can't believe nobody got your funny!

Low spark · 10-02-2002, 08:49 PM

[quote="Recycled Spooge":280e5][quote="Low spark":280e5]George W. Bush is Irish?[/quote:280e5]
Nice one! I can't believe nobody got your funny!

[/quote:280e5]

Thanks Spooge, I just feel bad for insulting the Irish like that.