[geRV]

(A Sceintific Analysis of the Santa Claus Phenomenon)

There are approximately two billion children (person under 18) in the world. However, since Santa does not visit children of Muslim, Hindu, Jewish or Buddhist (expect maybe in Japan) religions, this reduces the workload for Christmas night to 15% of the total, or 378 million (according to the population reference bureau). At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that comes to 108 million homes, presuming there is at least one good child in each. Santa had about 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 967.7 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household with a good child, Santa has around 1/1000th of a second to park the sleigh, hop out, jump down the chimney, fill the stocking, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left for him, get back up the chimney, jump into the sleigh and get onto the next house. Assuming that each of these 108 million stops is evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false, but will accept for the purposes for our calculations), we are now talking about 0.78 miles per household; a total trip of 75.5 million miles, not counting bathroom stops or breaks. This mean Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second -- 3,000 times the speed of sound.

For purposes of comparison, the fastest man made vehicle, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second, and a conventional reindeer can run 15 miles per hour. The payload of the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium sized LEGO set (two pounds), the sleigh is carrying over 500 thousand tons, not counting Santa himself.

On land, a conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that the "flying" reindeer can pull 10 times the normal amount, the job can't be done with eight or even nine of the -- Santa would need 360,000 of them. This increases the payload, not counting the weight of the sleigh, another 54,000 tons, or roughly seven times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth (the ship, not the monarch). 600,000 tons travelling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance - this would heat up the reindeer in the same fashion as a spacecraft reentering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer would absorb 14.3 quintillion joules of energy per second each. In short, they would burst into flames instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them and creating deafening sonic booms in their wake.

The entire reindeer team would be vapourised with 4.26 thousandths of a second, or right about the time Santa reached the fifth house on his trip. Not that it matters, however, since Santa, as a result of accelerating from a dead stop to 650 m.p.s. in .001 seconds, would be subjected to acceleration forces of 17,000 g's. A 250 pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of the sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force, instantly crushing his bones and organs and reducing him to a quivering blob of pink goo.

biggrin:

[Bucknub]

it's pretty clear that he doesnt exist, you didnt need to post scientific facts

[geRV]

Originally Posted by BucKweEd

it's pretty clear that he doesnt exist, you didnt need to post scientific facts

Facts and figures look good though. evil:

...maybe it just collapsed on it's own?

[geRV]

Originally Posted by Strik0r

...maybe it just collapsed on it's own?

[img]http://homepage.ntlworld.com/gerald.marley/Smilies/bigwtf.gif[/img]

[Captain Bunny]

haha yeah i read that thing a few years ago.
Santa would also be stopped by the metropolitan police for having an illegal red light on the front of his reindeer. by UK law it should be white or a lightly tinted yellow. he would then be breathalised as a routine check, found to be dangerously over the limit by the drinks left for him, and then he would be taken into the police station. Put in jail for the night, found to be without a licence or insurance (noone is going to insure a guy saying hes santa rides a sleigh), given a court summon, put on trial, found guilty for being in charge of a vehical while under the influence, without insurance, or a licence, breaking on entry the millions of homes he visits, and given a heafty fine and jail scentence.
He would be trialed again after someone raises the point of his reindeer being forced to pull such a weight, and given a fine for animal cruelty.
He would also be put on the sex offenders list for 20 years for encouraging little children to sit on his lap.

Originally Posted by Gerard

(A Sceintific Analysis of the Santa Claus Phenomenon)

There are approximately two billion children (person under 18) in the world. However, since Santa does not visit children of Muslim, Hindu, Jewish or Buddhist (expect maybe in Japan) religions, this reduces the workload for Christmas night to 15% of the total, or 378 million (according to the population reference bureau). At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that comes to 108 million homes, presuming there is at least one good child in each. Santa had about 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 967.7 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household with a good child, Santa has around 1/1000th of a second to park the sleigh, hop out, jump down the chimney, fill the stocking, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left for him, get back up the chimney, jump into the sleigh and get onto the next house. Assuming that each of these 108 million stops is evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false, but will accept for the purposes for our calculations), we are now talking about 0.78 miles per household; a total trip of 75.5 million miles, not counting bathroom stops or breaks. This mean Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second -- 3,000 times the speed of sound.

For purposes of comparison, the fastest man made vehicle, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second, and a conventional reindeer can run 15 miles per hour. The payload of the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium sized LEGO set (two pounds), the sleigh is carrying over 500 thousand tons, not counting Santa himself.

On land, a conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that the "flying" reindeer can pull 10 times the normal amount, the job can't be done with eight or even nine of the -- Santa would need 360,000 of them. This increases the payload, not counting the weight of the sleigh, another 54,000 tons, or roughly seven times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth (the ship, not the monarch). 600,000 tons travelling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance - this would heat up the reindeer in the same fashion as a spacecraft reentering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer would absorb 14.3 quintillion joules of energy per second each. In short, they would burst into flames instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them and creating deafening sonic booms in their wake.

The entire reindeer team would be vapourised with 4.26 thousandths of a second, or right about the time Santa reached the fifth house on his trip. Not that it matters, however, since Santa, as a result of accelerating from a dead stop to 650 m.p.s. in .001 seconds, would be subjected to acceleration forces of 17,000 g's. A 250 pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of the sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force, instantly crushing his bones and organs and reducing him to a quivering blob of pink goo.

biggrin:

(in Austin Powers voice)


NERD ALERT! NERD ALERT! NERD ALERT!

[Sergeant_Scrotum]

what do you mean...santa is real! cry:

thanks for ruining christmas asshole

i made this for myself on another forum and it suits this topic well..

Santa is real mother fucker!
[img]http://members.shaw.ca/jaizen/Sigs/xmas.jpg[/img]

[intrestedviewer]

hahaha biggrin: i can just see it now, reindeer going superfast and implodeing on themselves followed by sonic booms.

[Star85]

I have a proof from physics on how he cant exist. Ill look for it and see if I can make it make sense.

[Star85]

Ok Ill type it even though it wont look good. The second letter is suposed to be the subscript as in Te, the subscript is 'e'. You also wont understand where all of these things came from because you dont have the picture I have, and my scanner is broke. mad:

Vs= Velocity of Sleigh
C= Speed of Light
Ts= Santa Time
d= Light to Bell
D= Distance of sleigh

(Te)^2=d/s=s........



Know what I dont feel like typing what no one is interested in lol. Better just stop now before I get flamed happy:

[geRV]

[quote="aNti hEro":f16d7]thanks for ruining christmas asshole[/quote:f16d7]


cry:

[tcd12642]

Dam.
Don't show the little kiddies this.