[Captain Bunny]

This was by Terry Jones, one of the Monty Python guys. HE wrote this letter to the London Observer newspaper.

Sunday January 26, 2003

The Observer

I'm really exited by George Bush's latest reason for bombing Iraq: he's running out of patience. And so am I! For some time now I've been really pissed off with Mr Johnson, who lives a couple of doors down the street.

Well, him and Mr Patel, who runs the health food shop. They both give me queer looks, and I'm sure Mr Johnson is planning something nasty for me, but so far I haven't been able to discover what.

I've been round to his place a few time to see what he is up to, but he's got everything well hidden. That's how devious he is. As for Mr Patel, don't ask me how I know, I just know - from very good sources - that he is, in reality, a Mass Murderer. I have leafleted the street telling them that if we don't act first, he'll pick us off one by one.

Some of my neighbours say, if I've got proof, why don't I go to the police? But that's simply ridiculous. The police will say that they need evidence of a crime with which to charge my neighbours. They'll come up with endless red tape and quibbling about the rights and wrongs of a pre-emptive strike and all the while Mr Johnson will be finalising his plans to do terrible things to me, while Mr Patel will be secretly murdering people.

Since I'm the only one in the street with a decent range of automatic firearms, I reckon it's up to me to keep the peace. But until recently that's been a little difficult. Now, however, George W. Bush has made it clear that all I need to do is run out of patience, and then I can wade in and do whatever I want!

And let' s face it, Mr Bush's carefully thought-out policy towards Iraq is the only way to bring about international peace and security. The only certain way to stop Muslim fundamentalist suicide bombers targeting the US or the UK is to bomb a few Muslim countries that have never threatened us.

That's why I want to blow up Mr Johnson's garage and kill his wife and children. Strike first! That'll teach him a lesson. Then he'll leave us all in peace and stop peering at me in that totally unacceptable way. Mr Bush makes it clear that all he needs to know before bombing Iraq is that Saddam is a really nasty man and that he has weapons of mass destruction - even if no one can find them. I'm certain I've just as much justification for killing Mr Johnson's wife and children as Mr Bush has for bombing Iraq. Mr Bush's long term aim is to make the world a safer place by eliminating 'rouge states' and 'terrorism'.

It's such a clever long-term aim because how can you ever know when you have achieved it?

How will Mr Bush know when he's wiped out all terrorists? When every single terrorist is dead? But then a terrorist is only a terrorist once he's committed an act of terror. What about would-be terrorists? These are the ones you really want to eliminate, since most of the known terrorists, being suicide bombers, have already eliminated themselves.

Perhaps Mr Bush needs to wipe out everyone who could possibly be a future terrorist? Maybe he can't be sure he's achieved his objective until every Muslim fundamentalist is dead? But then some moderate Muslims might convert to fundamentalism. Maybe the only really safe thing to do would be for Mr Bush to eliminate all Muslims?

It's the same in my street. Mr Johnson and Mr Patel are just the tip of the iceberg. There are dozens of other people in the street who I don't like and who - quite frankly - look at me in odd ways. No one will be really safe until I've wiped them all out. My wife says I might be going too far but I tell her I'm simply using the same logic as the President of the United States. That shuts her up.

Like Mr Bush, I've run out of patience, and if that's a good enough reason for the President. It's good enough for me. I'm going to give the whole street two weeks - no, 10 days - to come out in the open and hand over all the aliens and interplanetary hijackers, galactic outlaws and interstellar terrorist masterminds, and if they don't hand them over nicely and say 'Thank you', I'm going to bomb the entire street to kingdom come.

It's just as sane as what George W. Bush is proposing and, in contrast to what he's intending, my policy will destroy only one street.

[Hurricane11]

terry will pwn j00

[Jedi Marksman]

[quote="Captain Bunny":e5f42]This was by Terry Jones, one of the Monty Python guys. HE wrote this letter to the London Observer newspaper.

Sunday January 26, 2003

The Observer

I'm really exited by George Bush's latest reason for bombing Iraq: he's running out of patience. And so am I! For some time now I've been really pissed off with Mr Johnson, who lives a couple of doors down the street.

Well, him and Mr Patel, who runs the health food shop. They both give me queer looks, and I'm sure Mr Johnson is planning something nasty for me, but so far I haven't been able to discover what.

I've been round to his place a few time to see what he is up to, but he's got everything well hidden. That's how devious he is. As for Mr Patel, don't ask me how I know, I just know - from very good sources - that he is, in reality, a Mass Murderer. I have leafleted the street telling them that if we don't act first, he'll pick us off one by one.

Some of my neighbours say, if I've got proof, why don't I go to the police? But that's simply ridiculous. The police will say that they need evidence of a crime with which to charge my neighbours. They'll come up with endless red tape and quibbling about the rights and wrongs of a pre-emptive strike and all the while Mr Johnson will be finalising his plans to do terrible things to me, while Mr Patel will be secretly murdering people.

Since I'm the only one in the street with a decent range of automatic firearms, I reckon it's up to me to keep the peace. But until recently that's been a little difficult. Now, however, George W. Bush has made it clear that all I need to do is run out of patience, and then I can wade in and do whatever I want!

And let' s face it, Mr Bush's carefully thought-out policy towards Iraq is the only way to bring about international peace and security. The only certain way to stop Muslim fundamentalist suicide bombers targeting the US or the UK is to bomb a few Muslim countries that have never threatened us.

That's why I want to blow up Mr Johnson's garage and kill his wife and children. Strike first! That'll teach him a lesson. Then he'll leave us all in peace and stop peering at me in that totally unacceptable way. Mr Bush makes it clear that all he needs to know before bombing Iraq is that Saddam is a really nasty man and that he has weapons of mass destruction - even if no one can find them. I'm certain I've just as much justification for killing Mr Johnson's wife and children as Mr Bush has for bombing Iraq. Mr Bush's long term aim is to make the world a safer place by eliminating 'rouge states' and 'terrorism'.

It's such a clever long-term aim because how can you ever know when you have achieved it?

How will Mr Bush know when he's wiped out all terrorists? When every single terrorist is dead? But then a terrorist is only a terrorist once he's committed an act of terror. What about would-be terrorists? These are the ones you really want to eliminate, since most of the known terrorists, being suicide bombers, have already eliminated themselves.

Perhaps Mr Bush needs to wipe out everyone who could possibly be a future terrorist? Maybe he can't be sure he's achieved his objective until every Muslim fundamentalist is dead? But then some moderate Muslims might convert to fundamentalism. Maybe the only really safe thing to do would be for Mr Bush to eliminate all Muslims?

It's the same in my street. Mr Johnson and Mr Patel are just the tip of the iceberg. There are dozens of other people in the street who I don't like and who - quite frankly - look at me in odd ways. No one will be really safe until I've wiped them all out. My wife says I might be going too far but I tell her I'm simply using the same logic as the President of the United States. That shuts her up.

Like Mr Bush, I've run out of patience, and if that's a good enough reason for the President. It's good enough for me. I'm going to give the whole street two weeks - no, 10 days - to come out in the open and hand over all the aliens and interplanetary hijackers, galactic outlaws and interstellar terrorist masterminds, and if they don't hand them over nicely and say 'Thank you', I'm going to bomb the entire street to kingdom come.

It's just as sane as what George W. Bush is proposing and, in contrast to what he's intending, my policy will destroy only one street.[/quote:e5f42]


I'll tell him what I have said about celebrities on this side of the lake. Stay with entertainment and leave international politics to those who know. biggrin:

[Muff Diver]

[quote="Jedi Marksman":21672][quote="Captain Bunny":21672]This was by Terry Jones, one of the Monty Python guys. HE wrote this letter to the London Observer newspaper.

Sunday January 26, 2003

The Observer

I'm really exited by George Bush's latest reason for bombing Iraq: he's running out of patience. And so am I! For some time now I've been really pissed off with Mr Johnson, who lives a couple of doors down the street.

Well, him and Mr Patel, who runs the health food shop. They both give me queer looks, and I'm sure Mr Johnson is planning something nasty for me, but so far I haven't been able to discover what.

I've been round to his place a few time to see what he is up to, but he's got everything well hidden. That's how devious he is. As for Mr Patel, don't ask me how I know, I just know - from very good sources - that he is, in reality, a Mass Murderer. I have leafleted the street telling them that if we don't act first, he'll pick us off one by one.

Some of my neighbours say, if I've got proof, why don't I go to the police? But that's simply ridiculous. The police will say that they need evidence of a crime with which to charge my neighbours. They'll come up with endless red tape and quibbling about the rights and wrongs of a pre-emptive strike and all the while Mr Johnson will be finalising his plans to do terrible things to me, while Mr Patel will be secretly murdering people.

Since I'm the only one in the street with a decent range of automatic firearms, I reckon it's up to me to keep the peace. But until recently that's been a little difficult. Now, however, George W. Bush has made it clear that all I need to do is run out of patience, and then I can wade in and do whatever I want!

And let' s face it, Mr Bush's carefully thought-out policy towards Iraq is the only way to bring about international peace and security. The only certain way to stop Muslim fundamentalist suicide bombers targeting the US or the UK is to bomb a few Muslim countries that have never threatened us.

That's why I want to blow up Mr Johnson's garage and kill his wife and children. Strike first! That'll teach him a lesson. Then he'll leave us all in peace and stop peering at me in that totally unacceptable way. Mr Bush makes it clear that all he needs to know before bombing Iraq is that Saddam is a really nasty man and that he has weapons of mass destruction - even if no one can find them. I'm certain I've just as much justification for killing Mr Johnson's wife and children as Mr Bush has for bombing Iraq. Mr Bush's long term aim is to make the world a safer place by eliminating 'rouge states' and 'terrorism'.

It's such a clever long-term aim because how can you ever know when you have achieved it?

How will Mr Bush know when he's wiped out all terrorists? When every single terrorist is dead? But then a terrorist is only a terrorist once he's committed an act of terror. What about would-be terrorists? These are the ones you really want to eliminate, since most of the known terrorists, being suicide bombers, have already eliminated themselves.

Perhaps Mr Bush needs to wipe out everyone who could possibly be a future terrorist? Maybe he can't be sure he's achieved his objective until every Muslim fundamentalist is dead? But then some moderate Muslims might convert to fundamentalism. Maybe the only really safe thing to do would be for Mr Bush to eliminate all Muslims?

It's the same in my street. Mr Johnson and Mr Patel are just the tip of the iceberg. There are dozens of other people in the street who I don't like and who - quite frankly - look at me in odd ways. No one will be really safe until I've wiped them all out. My wife says I might be going too far but I tell her I'm simply using the same logic as the President of the United States. That shuts her up.

Like Mr Bush, I've run out of patience, and if that's a good enough reason for the President. It's good enough for me. I'm going to give the whole street two weeks - no, 10 days - to come out in the open and hand over all the aliens and interplanetary hijackers, galactic outlaws and interstellar terrorist masterminds, and if they don't hand them over nicely and say 'Thank you', I'm going to bomb the entire street to kingdom come.

It's just as sane as what George W. Bush is proposing and, in contrast to what he's intending, my policy will destroy only one street.[/quote:21672]


I'll tell him what I have said about celebrities on this side of the lake. Stay with entertainment and leave international politics to those who know. biggrin:[/quote:21672]

i dont think you needed to quote the whole story to say that freak:

[Jedi Marksman]

I know. . . biggrin:

[Muff Diver]

lol, but good story bunny

[Totenkopf]

Maybe Bush has some kind of Minority Report going on.

[Muff Diver]

Did you even see that movie? The minority report was when there was
conflicting dreams between the precogs.

[SoLiDUS]

That was very deep of Terry Jones... although I was expecting something
intelligent like this from a member of the Monty Python gang anyway. Did
any of you read it ? You don't seem to have understood...

[Jedi Marksman]

Originally Posted by SoLiDUS

That was very deep of Terry Jones... although I was expecting something
intelligent like this from a member of the Monty Python gang anyway. Did
any of you read it ? You don't seem to have understood...

I read it and understood it. What's your point?

[SoLiDUS]

Why your post, then ? His analogy was spot on: why, then, should he stay
out of I.P. ? (You'll have to excuse me, as I'm not exactly in a great mood)

[Jedi Marksman]

Originally Posted by SoLiDUS

Why your post, then ? His analogy was spot on: why, then, should he stay
out of I.P. ? (You'll have to excuse me, as I'm not exactly in a great mood)

Because that's my opinion. I'm still allowed to have that, am I not? biggrin:

[SoLiDUS]

I take it from your latest post that you disagree with Mr. Jones ? How can
the obvious escape you ? biggrin:

[Jedi Marksman]

Originally Posted by SoLiDUS

I take it from your latest post that you disagree with Mr. Jones ? How can
the obvious escape you ? biggrin:

Nothing has escaped me, Solidus. Mr. Jones is allowed to think what he wishes, and I am a great admirer of his work. biggrin:

[SoLiDUS]

Then, you have made an error in reasoning somewhere. In any case, I
do not intend on changing your mind anymore than you wish to pursue this
dialogue, so let's agree to disagree. Terry Jones is still teh r0x0r...