[Doctor Duffy]

This thread may seem kinda worthless, but then again, we have a whole bunch of them, as thats usually what they are if not links to some video or website...

...but anyways, my butt hurts like crazy right now. Lately, I havent been taking all too many craps, as I once was taking (I never thought of this as unnormal, but I guess once I learned how many other people took on a regular basis, I was kinda shocked) around 2-4 craps per day. Slowly it started to wittle down to one crap over the months (must've had to do with me losing a whole bunch of weight - I went from 156 to 130) then more like one crap every other day, then every two days.

Well, the past week, it just went kaput. I hadnt taken a crap since the last weekend, and I my stomach was bloated, and I became full whenever I ate anything. More like it, I was full ALL the time - I have hardly eaten this past week, as breakfast was usually my biggest meal, usually either a bowl of cereal or oatmeal. My dad was reading about how all those kids who thought they had some misperfection with wether they were obese or too skinny were more likely to commit suicide, and he kinda noticed me hardly eating at dinner. Im not really sure what he thought, but I think he thought I was trying to starve myself...

...well anyways, Im just sitting around after going to the park with my two sisters, watching some jesus-freak paint a picture of a couple hens and some grass on PBS, when my stomach just explodes. It was the strangest thing that ever happened to me - it was like there was some thing living in it, trying to kick itself out - I had some wierd feeling I was pregnant.

So I go on over to the bathroom, and for the next three hours, Im squeezing and moaning, panting and clenching my fists, trying to force this crap out of me. I have that wierd feeling you have when theres a turd dangling out, but not exactly coming out. I was miserable, I thought I was dying in there - nothing came out, and then something finally did, and it was grey, and looked nothing like crap.

Well, my parents come home, and I tell my dad about it, and he says it could of been a hemmhoroid. So I guess I just squeezed a chunk of my intestince out of my ass.

Just thought I'd share. biggrin:

[strvs]

ownd

[geRV]

That musta been one big fucking hemroid. eek:

[Doctor Duffy]

No, it was small, about the size of a penny, but there were actually two of them.

[elstatec]

[img]http://www.movv.com/prvupload/uploads/SeniorsGroup1040.jpg[/img]

i was constipated last week.

[Whatada]

I hereby revoke your posting license.

[strvs]

[quote="Doctor Duffy":406ca]No, it was small, about the size of a penny, but there were actually two of them.[/quote:406ca]
kidney stones?

[elstatec]

[quote=strvs]

Originally Posted by "Doctor Duffy":0154b

No, it was small, about the size of a penny, but there were actually two of them.

kidney stones?[/quote:0154b]


you piss them out spank:

[strvs]

[quote=elstatec]

Originally Posted by strvs

kidney stones?

you piss them out spank:[/quote:7217c]
mr duff, you sure they didnt come out your vag?

[Doctor Duffy]

[quote=elstatec]

Originally Posted by strvs

kidney stones?

you piss them out spank:[/quote:451f6]

My dad had kidney stones when I was a whole lot younger, around 7. I remember one time we were at the movies, and all of a sudden in the middle of it, he just went "OH SHIT!" and we left in the middle of it, by dad barelling to the car so we could go home (I think he was too embaressed to go in the bathrooms they had there)

Whats neat though is that the hospital issued him some wierd pee-canisters, which are basically clear water bottles with a handle and a big hole to fit your wang into. They wanted to study his pee. When the stones were gona, he got to keep the canisters, and we now store them in the car, for emergencies when we cant just go out and piss right outside your door. We hardly ever use them, and they're pretty cool too, but they're a tinted yellow, and smell awful when opened up.

[harpua]

[quote="Doctor Duffy":b2bc0][quote=elstatec]

Originally Posted by strvs

kidney stones?

you piss them out spank:[/quote:b2bc0]

My dad had kidney stones when I was a whole lot younger, around 7. I remember one time we were at the movies, and all of a sudden in the middle of it, he just went "OH SHIT!" and we left in the middle of it, by dad barelling to the car so we could go home (I think he was too embaressed to go in the bathrooms they had there)

Whats neat though is that the hospital issued him some wierd pee-canisters, which are basically clear water bottles with a handle and a big hole to fit your wang into. They wanted to study his pee. When the stones were gona, he got to keep the canisters, and we now store them i

n the car, for emergencies when we cant just go out and piss right outside your door. We hardly ever use them, and they're pretty cool too, but they're a tinted yellow, and smell awful when opened up.[/quote:b2bc0]

your family and it's bodily functions are fucked up.

[Doctor Duffy]

Thank you.

[harpua]

[quote="Doctor Duffy":3c07f]Thank you.[/quote:3c07f]

welcome, actually when i was a kid i used to hold my shit in..no reason really other than i was to lazy to take a dump. anyway, once it was so bad that i was rushed to the hospital in lou of my stomach bursting, i got my stomach drained and my barf analysed. i also got to visit the proctologist.

lol, they brought in a bunch of med students to look at my ass and how compacted my dump was.

good ole second grade...

[Doctor Duffy]

ROFLMAO

Thats exactly what I was expecting to happen to me, after seeing nearly a year ago an episode of King of the Hill where the doctor shoves a camera up his ass.

I save mine in a lot, I hate doing it in public restrooms - Im like an old geezer, I explode whenever I do, so I like doing it in the privacy of my own home.

[strvs]

Me- i take a shit when i have to shit. It's really hard to ignore.