[Scorched Earth]

I know many of you despise Dane Cook so I thought you might like this.
[url:f94e1]http://www.theonion.com/content/news/dane_cook_parlays_new_burger_king[/url:f94e1]

[quote:f94e1]I'm gonna need all that shit when I launch into my 20-minute bit about ketchup packets," Cook said. "That's when I really start running around. And screaming, bro.[/quote:f94e1]

[Bucknub]

>For his birthday little Patrick asked for a 10-speed bicycle. His
>father
>said, "Son, we'd give you one, but the mortgage on This house is
>$180,000
>and your mother just lost her job. There's no way we Can afford it.
>The next day the father saw little Patrick heading out the Front
>door with a
>suitcase. So he asked, "Son, where are you Going?" Little Patrick
>told him,
>"I was walking past your room last Night and heard you tell mum you
>were
>pulling out. Then I Heard her tell you to wait because she was
>coming too.
>
>And I'll be damned if I'm staying here by myself with a $180,000
>Mortgage
>and no fucking bike!"

[[DAS REICH] Blitz]

Originally Posted by Bucknub

>For his birthday little Patrick asked for a 10-speed bicycle. His
>father
>said, "Son, we'd give you one, but the mortgage on This house is
>$180,000
>and your mother just lost her job. There's no way we Can afford it.
>The next day the father saw little Patrick heading out the Front
>door with a
>suitcase. So he asked, "Son, where are you Going?" Little Patrick
>told him,
>"I was walking past your room last Night and heard you tell mum you
>were
>pulling out. Then I Heard her tell you to wait because she was
>coming too.
>
>And I'll be damned if I'm staying here by myself with a $180,000
>Mortgage
>and no fucking bike!"

[img]http://daxohol.typepad.com/daxohol/images/bear.jpg[/img]
BOOM

[Godsmack]

I dont much care for dane cook... some of his stuff is good... but the rest oOo:

[Pyro]

thats fucked up...

[Short Hand]

Its the cool thing to hate dane cook.

[anti]

dane cook steals jokes from other comedians. what a bastid.

[Simo Häyhä]

i like dane cook, i don't care what anyone else says

[eeves]

dave>cook so he can go swallow a knife.

[Coleman]

[quote="Short Hand":8d865]Its the cool thing to hate dane cook.[/quote:8d865]Somehow it's still a cool thing for girls to quote when they're out on their drunken nights together.

[Zoner]

The Onion was funny once...ah, those were the days.

[jujumantb]

while it may be the cool thing to hate dane cook, his stuff is honestly no longer funny. he had that first routine/cd that i laughed at a few times, but he seems to rely more on his fame now and less on funny material. his new standup special is incredibly not funny to me. demitri martin's new standup is hilarious on the other hand.

[c312]

I wouldn't be surprised if that story was an actual news item. annoy:

[[DAS REICH] Blitz]

carlos mencia is the new thing

[Godsmack]

I think Mitch Hedberg's pretty good....