Ladies and - well who are we kidding, just a bunch of smooth boys here.

SMOOTH BOYS - I come here offering you the oppurutnity of a LIFETIME. Beginning on the Anniversary of one of the most tragic, horrific, saddenning, bankable attacks in American History - we here at OCTOPUS INC are beginning our campaign to celebrate September 11th year round with a new line of products -

TWIN TOWER TISSUES - a new poly-blend; more absorbent; product test has been done by millions of weeping hearts all over New York. Their crying eyes passed our tests! Doubles as a gas-mask.

OSAMA BIN LADELS - Ladies, have you ever been caught in the kitchen with a ladel that just falls apart and cant hold your fixins. OSAMA BIN LADELS are as sturdy as OSAMA's rightous indignation.

BIG APPLE CRUMBLE - a new pastried treat. Available in DIET as well.

These are a few products to be rolled out with our new "911" brand. A clothing line, and a new video game ("FIGHTING AMERICAN - DIRTY BROWN SKIN TERRORIST BUSTER) are on the way.

Lets make this year - the year of the 911!