[Sotilas Jane]

For awhile now, I’ve been working as support person in a Finnish Commercial-TV store. It was really slow day for me in the office, so I went to help in the warehouse, packing stuff and taking care of the incoming orders there.

Day goes along, and the postman arrives to take our outgoing orders, and returns the packages which customers have not picked up. We start sorting out the returns, and I get my hands on one of those electrical get-your-abs-flat-instantly machines. I though ‘what the hell, I am curious enough to try’, and attach the machine on my right bicep. I flip the power on and was surprised that I actually felt light contractions on my bicep; so I thought the machine was pretty neat.

I let the machine buzz for awhile, but shortly got bored because the contractions were so light. I hit the button to get more power out of that thing, but the results were not exactly what I expected.

The electrodes had moved slightly when I hit the power button, and the next time the machine gave me the electric shock, it went straight into my nerve – with a full power. I had no control over my right arm, and every time the machine gave me the shock, my fist pounded straight on my face – quite hard I might add; of course, the machine was set on rapid-mode. Two seconds and few punches later, when I finally realize that I don’t have any control over my arm, I quickly rip the thing off with my left hand with such a hurry that I accidentally hit the cartoon box pile that was next to me. A cartoon crate dropped and majority of the glass bottles that were in the box broke, and flooded nasty-smelling cream all over the warehouse floor.

I quickly learned that those glass boxes were some new super hit products, and every one of those bottles cost more than a wife in Thailand for a year.

So there I was then afterwards, mopping the fucking floor with my aching head and arm, thinking of how much I am going to have to pay from those creams. I came out with figures nearing 700€

Fuck.

eatthis: