[Big Jake]

biggrin:

Today, George W Bush held a surprise press conference on the grounds of the White House. We will now play back what he talked about.

"My fellow Americans, I have come to you today with the sad news that under much thought, and mostly the war protesters pissing all over my front lawn, that we WILL NOT invade Iraq. Instead, we will invade France instead. For many years now, we have endured plenty of their pitiful language as well as put up with their snobbish behavior so it is with great pleasure that I have ordered what remaining troops we have in England, and Germany to invade Euro Disney and from there, establish a command point. England, Mexico, and Canada have agreed to help us. Not out of the kindness of their hearts but because they are our bitches and do what they are told.

From Euro Disney, we will go out and drink all the French wine we can get our hands on. Casualities will be extremely light since all the French will be expected to surrender within an hour of the invasion. If we have any wounded men it will be because they have drunk too much wine and once again, used their tanks for demolition derby. Oh those crazy guys!!
Paris will become New New York. Since the people that live there are assholes, they should fit right in with the present society of New Yorkers.
If they piss us off too much, with the women and their hairy armpits and the men, with the only fighting they know how to do..I'm talking about waving your fists at people.
Then we will nuke the city! Would you miss it?

The invasion will begin in under 3 hours. Since the French are going to surrender anyway, I have no problem sharing this plan with the rest of the world. Who needs the French anyway?? We saved their asses in WWI and WWII and what thanks did we get?? We get cologne called Oui de toilet
Speaking of which, I do owe the toilet and I'm going to make a deposit. Goodnight America, and God Bless"