[CoMaToSe]

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Unsure what 2005 has in store for you? Worried about money? Family?
People finding out that you're gay? Worry no more, fellow spirit of the light!
John Cheese is here to help. Just click your sign and drink of the ancient
knowledge that made Jesus know how to chase all those snakes out of Ireland!

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Taurus: April 20 - May 20
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Born under the sign of the seventh moon of Squancho Booyahnium, the Taurus are often mistaken for their cousins, the children of the Gargaganos Floptitilus, better known as the Libra. The generally overlooked distinction, though, is the Taurus' extra armpit, located on the side of the neck. Less noticeable, but still a major distinction, is the Taurus' ability to smell mathematical formulas and taste sleep.

It has been said by wise men of old that if the spirit of the Taurus were made of chocolate coins, then there would have been no need to scorch the hat of the chosen wanderer. They are simply that powerful.

Your Future!
Your future is a vast and open sea. A sea filled with turtles of shelled enlightenment and squid of tentacled wisdom. Your teachings will fall from your body like the ripe fruit of the meat tree, to be ingested and digested by the eager youth of your flopping moose. But be careful how you wield your whop hammer. One misplaced word could fry the bacon of ever-flowing chunk knuckle.