| Offtopic Any topics not related to the games we cover. Doesn't mean this is a Spam-fest. Profanity is allowed, enter at your own risk. |
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Administrator
Posts: 17,739
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Camp Crystal Lake
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06-07-2005, 07:19 AM
Man, I feel fortunate after reading about some of you guys' fucked up lives...heh heh.
- My parents don't have sex....never have...I swear. I was immaculately conceived. biggrin:
- Never seen a guy's skull split open with a shovel
- Never been caught firin' up a Tspermnami
- Never fished corpses out of the sea
- Never had a finger jammed up my ass (well, other than my doctor but she doesn't count)
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Colonel
Posts: 8,386
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: wut
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06-07-2005, 08:58 AM
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Zoner
My parents don't have sex....never have...I swear. I was immaculately conceived. biggrin:
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Maybe it was the Dark Lord of the Sith. How many midichlorians do you have? |
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Master Sergeant
Posts: 1,789
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Marietta, GA
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06-07-2005, 09:36 AM
The summer after my freshman year in college I worked in a nursing home. I have two stories for ya....I'm trying to decide which is nastier.
1) We had an 80 year old fat guy whose bowels were so impacted that I had to stcik my finger up his rump and dig out the crap. Didn't seem like crap though...it was more like digging really big, brown rocks out of his arse.
2) We had a lady die that had been sick for a very long time. Even though we had tried to prevent it, she had a real bad case of bed sores when she died. When the guys came from the funeral home I helped them lift her from the bed to the stretcher. Slimy, sticky strands of bed sore goo were stuck to the bed and to her backside, so when we lifted her up it kinda trailed across the bed to the strecher. The smell was pretty bad too.
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Administrator
Posts: 17,739
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Camp Crystal Lake
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06-07-2005, 09:42 AM
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Akuma
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Zoner
My parents don't have sex....never have...I swear. I was immaculately conceived. biggrin:
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Maybe it was the Dark Lord of the Sith. How many midichlorians do you have? |
heh heh...well, my middle name IS Plagueius. Would explain a lot. biggrin: |
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Senior Member
Posts: 5,825
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Banned
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06-07-2005, 09:54 AM
I havent seen the most disgusting stuff but I've got a couple...
We have our little metal garbage bin on the side of our house, where we obviously keep all the garbage until garbage day, when we empty it out and put it on the sidewalk. I left the lid open once, as I really had to go to the bathroom, and I guess I forgot about it. Next day, when I was taking out the garbage around dark (I dont have enough time to do it in the morning) I felt the bag was all wet...the bag was covered in pools of little white maggots, soaking in yellow shit, and writhing and wiggling all over. The bags were all ripped open, so I had to pick up the garbage by hand and put it in a plastic bag. Pretty sick..
I saw my friends testicle once as I was leaving the Gym room. But that wasnt that bad.
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Major General
Posts: 13,482
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: University Park, PA
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06-07-2005, 12:45 PM
[quote="Doctor Duffy":4019c]
I saw my friends testicle once as I was leaving the Gym room. But that wasnt that bad.[/quote:4019c]/me slaps his forehead with his hand with amazement.
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Captain
Posts: 5,021
Join Date: Mar 2005
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06-07-2005, 01:15 PM
[quote=Coleman]
Quote:
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Originally Posted by "Doctor Duffy":205d7
I saw my friends testicle once as I was leaving the Gym room. But that wasnt that bad.
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/me slaps his forehead with his hand with amazement.[/quote:205d7]
LOOL |
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Senior Member
Posts: 1,413
Join Date: May 2004
Location: IUP
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06-07-2005, 01:27 PM
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Colonel
The summer after my freshman year in college I worked in a nursing home. I have two stories for ya....I'm trying to decide which is nastier.
1) We had an 80 year old fat guy whose bowels were so impacted that I had to stcik my finger up his rump and dig out the crap. Didn't seem like crap though...it was more like digging really big, brown rocks out of his arse.
2) We had a lady die that had been sick for a very long time. Even though we had tried to prevent it, she had a real bad case of bed sores when she died. When the guys came from the funeral home I helped them lift her from the bed to the stretcher. Slimy, sticky strands of bed sore goo were stuck to the bed and to her backside, so when we lifted her up it kinda trailed across the bed to the strecher. The smell was pretty bad too.
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thatll teach ya not to work at nursing homes. ut seriously, did you get paid extra to fish for shit with that guy?? |
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Chief of Staff General
Posts: 20,691
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Brampton Ontario Canada
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06-07-2005, 01:28 PM
Adam gave me a Molson Canadian...and had it resealed and everything perfectly and shit and it was piss and then i tried to kick his ass but that didn't turn out too well.
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Captain
Posts: 5,824
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Robertplantsville
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06-07-2005, 01:29 PM
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Pyro
Adam gave me a Molson Canadian...and had it resealed and everything perfectly and shit and it was piss and then i tried to kick his ass but that didn't turn out too well.
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Adam Long?
What a homo plzdie: |
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Master Sergeant
Posts: 1,789
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Marietta, GA
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06-07-2005, 01:42 PM
Quote:
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Originally Posted by harpua
...did you get paid extra...??
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No. The relieved look on his face when I was done and his heartfelt thank you's were all the payment I needed. |
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Colonel
Posts: 8,441
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Goatse
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06-07-2005, 01:43 PM
My parents having sex in the pool, in teh dark. they heard me coming and my mom hissed to my dad "ITS CHRISTOPHER!!!" gah
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General of the Army
Posts: 17,299
Join Date: May 2002
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06-07-2005, 02:13 PM
Quote:
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Originally Posted by CoMaToSe
My parents having sex in the pool, in teh dark. they heard me coming and my mom hissed to my dad "ITS CHRISTOPHER!!!" gah
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LOOL! |
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Master Sergeant
Posts: 1,789
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Marietta, GA
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06-07-2005, 03:25 PM
Quote:
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Originally Posted by CoMaToSe
My parents having sex in the pool, in teh dark. they heard me coming and my mom hissed to my dad "ITS CHRISTOPHER!!!" gah
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I hope your Dad cleaned the pool when he was done. eek: |
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Senior Member
Posts: 2,303
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Castaic
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06-07-2005, 03:35 PM
Quote:
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Originally Posted by CoMaToSe
My parents having sex in the pool, in teh dark. they heard me coming and my mom hissed to my dad "ITS CHRISTOPHER!!!" gah
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should have jumped in with them |
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