Offtopic Any topics not related to the games we cover. Doesn't mean this is a Spam-fest. Profanity is allowed, enter at your own risk. |
 albino cybersex |
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Senior Member
Posts: 4,003
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Ontario, Canada
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albino cybersex -
07-14-2003, 05:00 PM
On-line computer users often engage in what is affectionately known as
"cybersex". Often the fantasies typed into keyboards and shared through
Internet phone lines get pretty raunchy. However, as you'll see below,
one of the two cyber-surfers in the following transcript of an on-line
chat doesn't seem to quite get the point of cyber sex. Then again, maybe
he does...
Alain: Hello, Sweetheart. What do you look like?
Sweetheart: I am wearing a red silk blouse, a miniskirt and high heels. I
work out every day, I'm toned and perfect. My measurements are 36-24-36.
What do you look like?
Alain: I'm 6'1" and about 160 pounds. I wear glasses and I have on a pair
of blue sweat pants I just bought from Walmart.I'm also wearing a T-shirt
with a few spots of barbecue sauce on it from dinner...it smells funny.
Sweetheart: I want you. Would you like to screw me?
Alain: OK
Sweetheart: We're in my bedroom.There's soft music playing on the stereo
and candles on my dresser and night table.I'm looking up into your eyes,
smiling. My hand works its way down to your crotch and begins to fondle
your huge, swelling bulge.
Alain: I'm gulping, I'm beginning to sweat.
Sweetheart: I'm pulling up your shirt and kissing your chest.
Alain: Now I'm unbuttoning your blouse.My hands are trembling.
Sweetheart: I'm moaning softly.
Alain: I'm taking hold of your blouse and sliding it off slowly.
Sweetheart: I'm throwing my head back in pleasure.The cool silk slides
off my warm skin.I'm rubbing your bulge faster, pulling and rubbing.
Alain: My hand suddenly jerks spastically and accidentally rips a hole in
your blouse.I'm sorry.
Sweetheart: That's OK, it wasn't really too expensive.
Alain: I'll pay for it.
Sweetheart: Don't worry about it.I'm wearing a lacy black bra. My soft
breasts are rising and falling, as I breath harder and harder.
Alain: I'm fumbling with the clasp on your bra.I think it's stuck. Do you
have any scissors?
Sweetheart: I take your hand and kiss it softly.I'm reaching back undoing
the clasp. The bra slides off my body. The air caresses my breasts. My
nipples are erect for you.
Alain: How did you do that? I'm picking up the bra and inspecting the
clasp.
Sweetheart: I'm arching my back. Oh baby. I just want to feel your tongue
all over me.
Alain: I'm dropping the bra. Now I'm licking your, you know, breasts.
They're neat!
Sweetheart: I'm running my fingers through your hair. Now I'm nibbling
your ear.
Alain: I suddenly sneeze. Your breasts are covered with spit and phlegm.
Sweetheart: What?
Alain: I'm so sorry. Really.
Sweetheart: I'm wiping your phlegm off my breasts with the remains of my
blouse.
Alain: I'm taking the sopping wet blouse from you. I drop it with a plop.
Sweetheart: OK. I'm pulling your sweat pants down and rubbing your hard
tool.
Alain: I'm screaming like a woman. Your hands are cold! Yeeee!
Sweetheart: I'm pulling up my miniskirt. Take off my panties.
Alain: I'm pulling off your panties. My tongue is going all over, in and
out nibbling on you...umm... wait a minute.
Sweetheart: What's the matter?
Alain: I've got a pubic hair caught in my throat. I'm choking.
Sweetheart: Are you OK?
Alain: I'm having a coughing fit. I'm turning all red.
Sweetheart: Can I help?
Alain: I'm running to the kitchen, choking wildly. I'm fumbling through
the cabinets, looking for a cup. Where do you keep your cups?
Sweetheart: In the cabinet to the right of the sink.
Alain: I'm drinking a cup of water. There, that's better.
Sweetheart: Come back to me, lover.
Alain: I'm washing the cup now.
Sweetheart: I'm on the bed arching for you.
Alain: I'm drying the cup. Now I'm putting it back in the cabinet. And
now I'm walking back to the bedroom. Wait, it's dark, I'm lost. Where's
the bedroom?
Sweetheart: Last door on the left at the end of the hall.
Alain: I found it.
Sweetheart: I'm tuggin' off your pants. I'm moaning. I want you so badly.
Alain: Me too.
Sweetheart: Your pants are off. I kiss you passionately-our naked bodies
pressing each other.
Alain: Your face is pushing my glasses into my face. It hurts.
Sweetheart Why don't you take off your glasses?
Alain: OK, but I can't see very well without them. I place the glasses on
the night table.
Sweetheart: I'm bending over the bed. Give it to me, baby!
Alain: I have to pee. I'm fumbling my way blindly across the room and
toward the bathroom.
Sweetheart: Hurry back, lover.
Alain: I find the bathroom and it's dark. I'm feeling around for the
toilet. I lift the lid.
Sweetheart: I'm waiting eagerly for your return.
Alain: I'm done going. I'm feeling around for the flush handle, but I
can't find it. Uh-oh!
Sweetheart: What's the matter now?
Alain: I've realized that I've peed into your laundry hamper. Sorry
again. I'm walking back to the bedroom now, blindly feeling my way.
Sweetheart: Mmm, yes. Come on.
Alain: OK, now I'm going to put my...you know ...thing...in your...you
know...woman's thing.
Sweetheart: Yes! Do it, baby! Do it!
Alain: I'm touching your smooth butt. It feels so nice. I kiss your neck.
Umm, I'm having a little trouble here.
Sweetheart: I'm moving my ass back and forth, moaning. I can't stand it
another second! Slide in! Screw me now!
Alain: I'm flaccid.
Sweetheart: What?
Alain: I'm limp. I can't sustain an erection.
Sweetheart: I'm standing up and turning around; an incredulous look on my
face.
Alain: I'm shrugging with a sad look on my face, my wiener all floppy.
I'm going to get my glasses and see what's wrong.
Sweetheart: No, never mind. I'm getting dressed. I'm putting on my
underwear. Now I'm putting on my wet nasty blouse.
Alain: No wait! Now I'm squinting, trying to find the night table. I'm
feeling along the dresser, knocking over cans of hair spray, picture
frames and your candles.
Sweetheart: I'm buttoning my blouse. Now I'm putting on my shoes.
Alain: I've found my glasses. I'm putting them on. My God! One of our
candles fell on the curtain. The curtain is on fire! I'm pointing at it,
a shocked look on my face.
Sweetheart: Go to hell. I'm logging off, you loser!
Alain: Now the carpet is on fire! Oh noooo!
Sweetheart: (logged off)
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Member
Posts: 50
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Valhalla
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07-14-2003, 05:04 PM
hahahaha
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Guest
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07-14-2003, 05:33 PM
lol, i remember when i was 6, someone i talked to in a chatroom asked me to have cybersex oOo:
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Senior Member
Posts: 4,003
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Ontario, Canada
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07-14-2003, 05:36 PM
wow. great parents you have
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Senior Member
Posts: 2,670
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Outskirts of Rochester, Ny
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07-14-2003, 05:37 PM
[quote="Sargent_Scrotum":bf11c]wow. great parents you have[/quote:bf11c]
And boom a spammer was born.
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Guest
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07-14-2003, 09:17 PM
aha but i think cyber sex is kinnda lame like for all you know some 1000 pound fat man could be on the other end
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Guest
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07-14-2003, 09:26 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by KingWade
aha but i think cyber sex is kinnda lame like for all you know some 1000 pound fat man could be on the other end
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Reminds me of the channel "Sex" On Battle.net, You look around in the room can see names such as: Lil-Bi-Chick, and _Lesbian_gurl6969" Which are really just other guys looking to Cyber with actual Lesbian Chicks. So, Lil_Bi_Chick, who's real name is Fred, cybers with "Lesbian_Gurl6969" Who's real name is Dave.
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Senior Member
Posts: 4,003
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Ontario, Canada
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07-14-2003, 09:27 PM
yes but its what in your mind that counts happy: i did it with a girl from my school once. it was kinda fun but i ended up fucking her at a party a few weeks later which i can tell you was alot better than the online bullshit. biggrin:
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General of the Army
Posts: 18,844
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: AA.com North Building, Offtopic Floor, Apartment 1337
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07-14-2003, 09:43 PM
this has to be the stupidest thread i have ever seen here......ever oOo: oOo:
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Senior Member
Posts: 4,003
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Ontario, Canada
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07-14-2003, 09:53 PM
then leave jerkass
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Senior Member
Posts: 479
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: On a dirtbike, pretending to fly
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07-14-2003, 09:58 PM
Thanks for the laugh. That was great.
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Senior Member
Posts: 904
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: On the phone with badscript. ..what's that badscript? No I won't have sex with you to ban joe!
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07-14-2003, 10:55 PM
oh christ i haven't laughed that hard in months this stuff is great
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2nd Lieutenant
Posts: 3,563
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Portland, Oregon
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07-14-2003, 11:15 PM
man, that was good....lol
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Senior Member
Posts: 1,937
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Alaska
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07-14-2003, 11:18 PM
lol, funny stuff
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Chief of Staff General
Posts: 20,691
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Brampton Ontario Canada
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07-14-2003, 11:55 PM
lmao
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