[Magnum]

Oh yeah? Try these:

"Yo momma so ugly when she get out of bed people in the United Arab Emirates fall out they chairs!"
"Yo car so beat up when you go to the drive in movie a helicopter be touchin down on top of an oil platform!"
"Yo face so crazy when you take off yo hat in a restaurant the waiter bring you a tray of mints!"
"Yo family so broke that when you move into yo house a tornado hand deliver a subpoena from father time!"
"Yo momma so lazy when she build a snowman she use carrots for EYES and coal for they NOSE!"
"Yo Internet Service Provider so stank when you log into Everquest you got people up in Canada playin Tetris on they graphics calculatuhs!"
"You so stupid when you compete in a spelling bee you get bit by a preying mantis!"
"Yo girlfriend so cantankerous when she make pies she make em out of relief maps!"

Guess the source.