[Kraut Killer]

As the unofficial Wendy's (TM) Spokesman, you may have seen me on those stupid fucking commercials, I apologize for the lack of onions. However, we, as a company, are trying to reach out to the African-Canadian community. For too long Kentucky Fried Chicken (R) has been dominating this market, so to show the African-Canadian people that Wendy's (TM) is a great place for them to spend their money when not buying bling, rims, or drugs we tend to load up on the onions, cheese, and especially our trademark fake bacon. We apologize for the inconvinience, but seeing as you are not of African decent, you no longer hold as a priority customer to the Wendy's (TM) corperation. However, to keep our caucasian customers coming back, we have finally implemented the suggestion that our employee's wash their hands before handling your food. And for the most part... some of our employee's have contemplated doing as such. Thank you for eating at Wendy's (TM), and please come again.