[Cpt. Obvious]

I had fun.
Text Message lindsay:
Paris: hi
lindsay: omg hi!!!!!!
Paris: whats up
lindsay: im soooo watsed!!!
Paris: you bitch
lindsay: what, bitch?
Paris: you want to fight
lindsay: hold on..... ooooohhhh ahhhh
Paris: wow
lindsay: who was that dike ass i saw you making out with?
Paris: that was tulula
lindsay: eww...my dad is drunk again! i am *so* going to cut his ass off!
Paris: what a whore
lindsay: dude my boobs are aweseome!
Paris: i know
lindsay: don’t tell anyone...but my boobs are soooooo fake1 LOL1!!!!!!
Paris: as i said before i know
lindsay: dontcha think hilary duff is such a prude ass bitch?
Paris: no
lindsay: oops i gotta go film11!! byeeee
Paris: bye
lindsay is offline
Text Message ashlee:
Paris: whats uop
ashlee: WHAT'S UP BITCH?
Paris: you hoe
ashlee: WHER'VE OYOOU BEEN?
Paris: over there
ashlee: DUDE…I JUST CAUGHT MY DAD STARING AT JESSICA’S BOOBS!!! HE IS SOOO WEIRD!
Paris: i know
ashlee: RYAN WONT' CALLME BACKK
Paris: well go fuck sean penn
ashlee: YOU HITTIN DA CLUB 2NITE?????
Paris: no
ashlee: I’M GONNA TO GO EAT SOME CORN CHIPS!!!!
Paris: you will have corn shits
ashlee: DO U THINK I SHOULD CUT MY HAIR! I SHOULD ASK MY MOM!
Paris: yes
ashlee: I HABVE TO OGO TO 2 BAND PRACTICE... WE GOTTA NEW DRUMMR! HA! ...LATERZ
Paris: shave it
ashlee is offline
Text Message frankie:
Paris: bitch
frankie: Hi Paris!
Paris: bitch
frankie: I can’t believe I'm on your buddy list! LOL
Paris: bitch
frankie: Do you think I’m cuter than Haley Joel Osment?
Paris: bitch
frankie: I'm sick of this Malcolm In the Middle crap... how about I star in a new series called "Malcom Snorts Crack Through His Bunghole"? hahahahah
Paris: wow that was funny
frankie: puberty sucks. i’m growing all this hair on my crotch and it’s freaking me out.
Paris: shave it
frankie: can u hook me up with nicole ritchie?
Paris: you dont want to hit that
frankie: Hold on a sec...
Paris: come on get a tissue finsish up
frankie: i just saw you sex tape! LMFAO!
Paris: do you want to fuck me
frankie: Hey what size are your breasts? They look kinda small.
Paris: ill take that as a maybe
frankie: Oh! My mom has some pb ripple ice cream! I'm going to go "hit that"!
Paris: wouldn't that be cold on your dick
frankie is offline
Text Message eminem:
Paris: i hate your music with a passion
eminem: yes this is teh real slim shady
Paris: as I said before I hate your music with a passion
eminem: i’d crawl 8 miles up hills both ways jsut to have sex w/ you paris
Paris: i have the clap
eminem: ROTFL!!! U just as funny as my baby haley
Paris: I got it from her
eminem: brb…gotta take a piss
Paris: go write a song about it
eminem:
Paris: thats what I thought
eminem: you see nicole l8ly? i need some H
Paris: sadly yes
eminem: damn…u type slow
Paris: i type like I think
eminem: can u believe that dido leprecon beeeyatch never put out after i made her famous? DAT HO!
Paris: i guess you could call her dyko. hahahahaha
eminem: GTG... holla @ me l8r
Paris: loser
eminem is offline
Text Message fred:
Paris: i also dislike your music
fred: Sup, bitch!
Paris: clouds and other assorted balloons
fred: britney is rockin my bone as I type this, yo I swear
Paris: yeah and I'm Janice Joplin on a bender
fred: Dat is some whack ass shiznit, saggymuffins
Paris: your an idiot
fred: U like my red hat? Im thinkin bout gettin a blue 1
Paris: you should buy some vocal lessons first
fred: what?
Paris: you heard me you cant sing
fred: fresh!
Paris: shut up
fred: word yo..can I do you just for the nookie?
Paris: you can shut up before I cut your dick off and put it in your ear
fred: this sux. id rather have phone sex
Paris: well call your mother
fred: do ppl think im a dooche bag? i don’t think i am Â* IMHO
Paris: yah your are
fred: Im in teh studio now... CU
Paris: thank god
fred is offline