[Pfc.Green]

Keiko, the Free Willy whale, may still not know much about fending for his fat self, but the good people of Norway have looked into their hearts and decided not to give up on the blubbery blob and pump him full of lead.

Before you ask, "Who would dare suggest making seafood of Keiko?" let's just tell you: Nils Oien.

This week, the Norwegian whale expert suggested shooting the marine movie star as a humane way of ending what he sees as fruitless attempts to make Keiko a self-sufficient member of the underwater race.

"It would be better to put him to death," Oien told the Norway state radio station NRK.

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Why the fuck is the media always so god damned obsessed with whales, here in the northwest, we had a retarded whale hanging around ferrys, it got a fucking name, and weeks of coverage on the local news hake: