[Sergeant_Scrotum]

just follow these easy steps to stop that evil habit which will surly send you to hell! [url:2fbc2]http://www.selfabuse.org/[/url:2fbc2] some of the most important steps that i will be sure to remember are

[quote:2fbc2]If the temptation seems overpowering while you are in bed, GET OUT OF BED AND GO INTO THE KITCHEN AND FIX YOURSELF A SNACK, even if it is in the middle of the night, and even if you are not hungry, and despite your fears of gaining weight. Better to be fat than to go to Hell!

DO NOT, I REPEAT, DO NOT EVER use mayonnaise on your sandwich. It will trigger thoughts of other things which you must avoid thinking about. If you are a female, stay away from the hot dogs, carrots, cucumbers and Italian sausage! And girls, NEVER put a candle on the table and light it, pretending you have class. Candles are used for only one purpose and you know what that is!
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[quote:2fbc2]Never argue with yourself that it must be OK to masturbate because God has given you the right equipment to do it. IT IS NOT OK! It is wrong. It is unnatural, evil, Satanic and sinful. Anything that feels that good cannot actually be good! I believe that the better if feels the more sinful it is.

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[quote:2fbc2]If you really think it is OK and a natural thing to do, then try this experiment:

If masturbation is so natural and correct, whip it out the next time you are with your girl friend in the school cafeteria and begin masturbating in front of her.

While you are masturbating, just explain to her in your short choppy breaths that it is a natural process and that she should accept it as such. You might want to ask her to blow in your ear at some point, just to hurry the process along.

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[quote:2fbc2]Small wireless cameras and receivers are sold at very reasonable prices now. Caleb and I strongly suggest that you buy two cameras. One for your bed room and one for the bathroom.
In addition, purchase as many receiving boxes as you can afford. Distribute the receiving boxes to nearby neighbors as you explain your masturbation problem to them. They will understand. Ask them to hook up the box to their TV set and check on you once in awhile why they are watching TV - ESPECIALLY AFTER YOU'VE GONE TO BED.

Whey you are lying in bed and your thoughts turn to pleasuring yourself, remember than any number of neighbors could be watching you right at that moment. Go back to sleep!

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