Pick up lines
 

any of you got some funny pick up lines?

I have a couple

"hey baby, nice legs, what time do they open"
or
"my love for you is like diarrea, I just cant hold it in.."

Do you have tea or coffee with your breakfast.

Nice shirt, wanna fuck?

I prefer "Nice shoes, wanna fuck?", especially on that Josie Maran pic.

Wanna play hide the weiner. eek:

"I like to rape women in my basement... then kill them and wear their pretty skin until it starts to rot."

Works like a charm evil:

Hi, my names chris, i have a large dick.

I dont have any coffee but are you coming home with me or not?

Nice dress, but it would look better on my bedroom floor.

Hmmmm too long, how about, "Wanna ----?" evil:

Do you sleep on your stomach? [any answer] Can I?

Go up to a someone at a bar or a dance and ask her: do you want a fuck... (wait for a second gauging her reaction)...ing drink?

Cold out isn't it? (staring at breasts)

Bond. James Bond.

Do you know how to use a whip?

Say, did we go to different schools together?

[quote:1f293]Hi, my names chris, i have a large dick[/quote:1f293]

yup

I KNOW you got some pussy on you. Can i have some?

I would never use any of these, but I just think they're funny.

"I know milk does a body good, but baby, you must of ate the whole damn cow!"

"Is that a keg in the back of your pants? Cuz I'd love to tap that ass!"

"Wanna play army? I'll lay down and you can blow the fuck outta me"

"Wanna do some math? I'll add my bed, subtract your clothes, divide your legs, and you can watch me multiply."

"You're on my todo list"

1. I wish you were a door so I could slam you all day.
2. Nice legs...what time do they open?
3. Do you work for UPS? I thought I saw you checking out my package.
4. You've got 206 bones in your body, want one more?
5. Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?
6. I may not be the best looking guy in here, but I'm the only one talking to you.
7. I'm a bird watcher and I'm looking for a Big Breasted Bed Thrasher: have you seen one?
8. I'm fighting the urge to make you the happiest woman on earth tonight.
9. Want to play army? I'll lay down and you can blow the hell outta me.
10. I wish you were a Pony Carousel outside Superdrug, so I could ride you all day long for a quarter.
11. Oh, I'm sorry, I thought that was a Braille name tag.
12. I'd really like to see how you look when I'm naked.
13. Is that a ladder in your stockings or the stairway to heaven?
14. You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.
15. Are those real?
16. You must be the limp doctor because I've got a stiffy.
17. I'd walk a million miles for one of your smiles, and even farther for that thing you do with your tongue.
18. If it's true that we are what we eat, then I could be you by morning..
19. (Look down at your crotch) Well It's not just going to suck itself.
20. You know, if I were you, I'd have sex with me.
21. You. Me. Whipped cream. Handcuffs. Any questions?
22. F@# me if I'm wrong, but is your name Sherry Titsbottom?
23. Those clothes would look great in a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor.
24. My name is (name)...remember that, you'll be screaming it later.
25. Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?
26. Hi, I'm Mr. Right. Someone said you were looking for me.
27. My friend wants to know if YOU think I'M cute.
28. Hi. The voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you.
29. My name isn't Elmo, but you can tickle me anytime you want to.
30. I know milk does a body good, but DAMN, how much have you been drinking?
31. If you were the last woman and I was the last man on earth, I bet we could do it in public.
32. Wanna come over for some pizza and sex? No? Why? Don't you like pizza?
33. Baby, I'm an American Express lover...you shouldn't go home without me.
34. Do you sleep on your stomach? Can I???
35. Do you wash your pants in Windex? Because I can see myself in them.
36. I lost my puppy. Can you help me find him? I think he went into this cheap motel room.
37. (Lick finger and wipe on her shirt) Let's get you out of these wet clothes.



i think some of theese you guys have said oOo:


biggrin: biggrin:

ROFL! those are great

Haha
Those are great biggrin:
You guys do realize though, that the only thing half those lines will get you is either a slap in the face or a drink in the face biggrin:

...and how about one that would actually work, like "Hi, my name is _____"

jika jika slim shady.

heres another pick up line "do you work at subway? cuz u just gave me a foot long

The sad thing is that Buckweed actually uses these.

and this is a problem?

Hi!...wanna play Pearl Harbour?...I'll lay down and you blow the crap outta me! eek:

i thought up this one last night at the gymnasium.

my sister: can you dribble between your legs?

my sister's hot friend: no not really

me: i'd like to do a little ball handling between your legs evil:

You better have been talking about your sisters friend.

[quote="Eight Ace":c0d9e]Hi!...wanna play Pearl Harbour?...I'll lay down and you blow the crap outta me! eek:[/quote:c0d9e]

I posted that, it's play army, not pearl harbor!!

i actually used that UPS one the other day lol! she wasnt happy

One I read in my college newspaper. . .


Did you buy those pants on another planet? Because your ass is out of this world.
biggrin:

I laughed like hell at that one.

How about pizza and a fuck? Whats the matter? Dont like pizza?

236 bones in the human body, how would you like one more?

I wish you were a screen door..... [Why?] So I can slam you all day long!

If we were both squirrels, would you let me bust a nut in your hole?

Do you like apples? (Yes.) How about I take you home and fuck the shit out of you. How do like them apples?

Can you lick your nipples? [No.] Can I?

It isn't just gonna suck itself.

Do you know the difference between my penis and a chicken leg? No??? Well, let's go on a picnic and find out!

Hey, baby, wanna lock crotches and swap gravy?

Kiss me baby! I don't have cooties!

oOo:

I guess my favourite one is "Nice shoes. Wanna Fuck?" biggrin:

[quote="Bazooka_Joe":4ad1a][quote="Eight Ace":4ad1a]Hi!...wanna play Pearl Harbour?...I'll lay down and you blow the crap outta me! eek:[/quote:4ad1a]

I posted that, it's play army, not pearl harbor!![/quote:4ad1a]

...you win a Pearl Necklace!...a winner is you... oOo:

haha I just looked back at all thes. there fuckin jokes!

dont say anything, just slip a 100 dollar bill in her pocket

you must be tired [why?] cuz youve been running thru my mind all day
are you from tennessee [ why] cuz ur the only ten i see
your daddy must be a terrorist cuz baby ur the bomb
ill give you 10 dollars to let me smell ur asshole biggrin:

i have to try that one biggrin:

i hope it works for me

...yes, I can't see you going wrong with that one...it's a great ice-breaker and is reasonably priced.
(mind you, that translates to nearly $20AUS. hake: )

19 actually... But just hand them a 10er and they'll still do it. Really, they will. Promice. *


*
Not really, but... lol, i wanna see you get whooped.

Just give them some |337 sp34k, they'll be all yours:

H3y S3cS3, yu0 is t3h c4mping h0n3y!!!!!11 1s yu0 us1ng t3h AiMb0T0rZ???/

LOL Tripper!!@#@!

I just say "Me. You. Bed. Now."

I occasionally say "Me. You. This (hold up sex toy). Bed. Now." But thats only if i have a sex toy in my pocket when i am out at parties.

HAW HAWWW!! Slip her a note written on a cocktail napkin, "Y Hallo thar...buttsecks??!!???!!!111 LOLOLOLOLOL"


Zone

U have a creative mind zoner. happy:

[quote="anti_hero":38fc5]dont say anything, just slip a 100 dollar bill in her pocket[/quote:38fc5]

Then hows she going to know you gave it to her??!