Kwality Joke Korner!
 

Man: "Doctor, I've a strawberry stuck in my anus..."

Doctor:"I've got some cream for that."

ed: oOo: eek:

boooooooo, wasnt funny
now this is funny



1st person : knock, knock

2st person : whos their

1st person : fuckoff

Man: "My dog has no nose."

Other man: "Really...how does he smell?"

Man: "Terrible!"

if you put sand on some iscream is it considered desert

Whats brown and green and eats nuts?





















ghonorrea

What's huge and is licked by many ladies?

My Pen0r.

Who should die ?

























Doc hayward aka K-i-a

a guy walks into a bar





























ouch oOo:

why did the blond snort lines of sweet and low???















She thought it was diet coke...HAR HAR

annoy:


Why are altar boy's hair parted down the middle?





From the priest rubbing the top of their heads outward saying "yes my son"

ed:

whats the smartest thing to ever come out of a blonde's mouth?





















Einstein's dick

so I'm head deep fucking some guy in the ass when he turns around and wants to cuddle. Jeez, what a fag.

[quote="Airborne Butters":8531b]so I'm head deep fucking some guy in the ass when he turns around and wants to cuddle. Jeez, what a fag.[/quote:8531b]
...eeuwwh! hake: Butters, I hope you cock-whipped that homo immediatley prior to giving hot facial

a hitchhiker gets picked up by a couple of gay truckers who are going cross country. While in the truck the 1st gay guy lifts his leg and "pfft" lets out a fart. A couple of minutes later the 2nd gay guy lifts his leg and " pfft" again a airy fart. The hitchhiker is laughing from both of them and says..boys thats nothing listen to this one.

He proceeds to lift his leg and "BRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAPP "now thats a fart!

the two gay guys then proceed to look at each other and say........








Virgin!

HAW HAW! Get that from Ricky from Trailer Park Boys? Kills me!!


What has 9 arms and sucks?

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Def Leppard

2 blondes walk into a bar











you woulda though the second one would of seen it

Waht's the difference between a blonde and a washing machine?



You can dump your load into a washing machine and it won't follow you around for three months.

a preist is doing confecion and he realy needs to go the bathroom.
he sees the janitor walking buy, so he stops and says" i realy need to go to the bathroom i need you to cover for me."
the jaintor says "ok but i wouldn't know what to tell people"
the preist says "thats ok heres a list of very sin that can be commited and what you should tell them"
the jantors like ok and covers for the prist. a few minutes later a young girl walks in and says "father i've had oral sex with 20 men what should i do?"
the janitor looks on the list and dosnt find oral sex
as hes wondering what to say a alter boy walks by so he pulls over the alter boy and asks" what dose father normaly give for oral sex?'
and the alter boy says" a pice of gum and some candy."

How Do you get a preist to sleep with a nune(i probably spelt it worng...)

































Dress the nune up as a altar boy.

If you are mexican, dont read this...

















Why were there only 2000 mexicans at the Alimo?


They only had two trucks. biggrin:

HAHAHAHAHA FUCKIN GENIOUS... i gott a better one!

This blonde walks into an appliance, and tell the clerk, "I would like to buy the T.V." And the clerk replies, "Sorry, we don't sell anything to blondes."
So the blonde walks out, dies her hair red and comes back into that appliance store. She asks the clerk, "Could I buy that T.V.?", the clerk replies, "Sorry we don't sell anything to blondes." Now the blonde is kind of fustrated.
The blonde walks out of the appliance store, shaves her head and gets a few peircings. She walks back into the appliance store, confident this time, and tells the clerk, "I would like to buy that T.V." The clerk remarks "I've told you twice already, WE DO NOT SELL ANYTHING TO BLONDES!!!" So now the blonde is completely furious and asks the clerk, "HOW THE FUCK DO YOU KNOW I'M A BLONDE?!?!?!" The clerk simply responds, "Simple. That is a mincrowave, not a T.V."


HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA NOW THAT IS FUNNY biggrin: biggrin: biggrin: happy: happy: happy:

If your dog was barking at the back door and your wife was knocking on the front door, who would you let in first?
The dog, because at least he would shut the hell up once he was in.

Oh shit that is fuckin funny, man! Wooo I have haven't laughed like this for years! rock:

[quote="Eight Ace":6e554][quote="Airborne Butters":6e554]so I'm head deep fucking some guy in the ass when he turns around and wants to cuddle. Jeez, what a fag.[/quote:6e554]
...eeuwwh! hake: Butters, I hope you cock-whipped that homo immediatley prior to giving hot facial[/quote:6e554]
oh LORD! that is wrong on so many levels

[quote=Ozma][quote="Eight Ace":3e59c]...eeuwwh! hake: Butters, I hope you cock-whipped that homo immediatley prior to giving hot facial[/quote:3e59c]
oh LORD! that is wrong on so many levels[/quote:3e59c]
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA imwithstupid:

There is no need to ruin everyone's fun, by posting racist jokes.

a dyslexic man walks into a bra...


eek:

A guy walks into a bar and sits down. After a few minutes, he starts dialing numbers... like a telephone...but on the back of his hand. He then flips his hand over, and starts talking into the palm of his hand. The bartender walks over and tells him this is a very tough neighborhood and he doesn't need any trouble from weirdos here. The guy says, "You don't understand. I'm very hi-tech. I had a phone installed in my hand because I was tired of carrying the cellular."

The bartender says "Prove it!", so the guy dials up a number and hands his hand to the bartender. The bartender talks into the hand and carries on a brief conversation. "That's incredible", says the bartender, "I would never have believed it!" "Yeah", said the guy, "I can keep in touch with my broker, my wife, you name it. By the way, where is the men's room?" The bartender directs him to the men's room. The guy goes in, and 5, 10, 20 minutes go by, and he doesn't return.

Fearing the worst, given the violence in the neighborhood, the bartender goes into the men's room. The guy is spread-eagle against the wall. His pants are pulled down and he has a roll of toilet paper shoved up his butt. "Oh my god!" said the bartender. "Did the locals rob you? Are you hurt?" The guy casually turns around, and says: "No, I'm OK. I'm just waiting for a fax."

. Which sexual position produces the ugliest children?
A. Ask your mother.

Q. What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
A. Wiped his ass.

Q. What's the difference between oral sex & anal sex?
A. Oral sex makes your day, anal sex makes your hole weak.

Q. What's the difference between a bitch and a whore?
A. A whore sleeps with everybody at the party, and a bitch sleeps with everybody at the party except you.

Q. What's the definition of a Yankee?
A. Same thing as a "quickie,"only you do it yourself.

.Q. What do you call an Amish guy with his hand up a horse's ass?
A. A mechanic!

Q. Who is the most popular guy at the nudist colony?
A. The guy who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen donuts.

Q. Who is the most popular girl at the nudist colony?
A. She is the one who can eat the last donut!

Q. Why do men snore when they lay on their backs?
A. Because their balls fall over their asshole and they vapor lock.

Q. Three words women hate to hear when having sex
A. "Honey, I'm home!"

Q. Why do men take showers instead of baths?
A. Pissing in the bath is disgusting.

Q. When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep.
A. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.

Q. How can you tell a macho women?
A. She rolls her own tampons.

Q: What's the leading cause of death among lesbians?
A: Hair balls.

Q: What's good on a pizza, but bad on a pussy?
A: Crust.

What is the difference between acne and a priest?












The acne wastes till a boy is thirteen to cum on his face.

two old guys are comparing their age and the 1st man says "I shake so much now it takes me 15 minutes to button my pants"

Thats nothing says the 2nd man "This morning i came 3 times while i was taking a piss"

What about the dyslexic prostitute who got a job in a warehouse... oOo:

While riding the bus a man notices a very attractive nun a few seats ahead. He then comes up with a brilliant plan to sleep with her.

He walks up to the nun and says excuse me miss.. I couldnt help but notice you are a very attractive lady of the cloth and I was wondering if you could help me. You see i am just coming home from the doctors who informed me I only have one week to live. My one last request is to make love to a beautiful women like yourself. I know your a nun and are not allowed but please find compassion in my plea.

"I understand your plight my son" she replies in a soft sensual tone.
"Therfore i shall grant you your request get off at the next stop with me"

They get off on the next stop and go to a hotel room and make sweet love and passionate monkey sex. after several hours they walk down to leave.

as they part and walk the opposite ways. the man feels tremendous guilt for what he has done and turns around and runs back to the nun

Mother! I am sorry for what ive just done...I lied to you, I am not dying..I am going to hell for this I know I am sorry I just need to tell you the truth

"Its ok my son since you told me the truth I will tell you the truth as well"

"My names bob and im going to a masquerade party"

lol all that for that crappy punch line..its much better but i cant remember all of it

Whats LONG HARD AND FULL OF SEAMEN!!















A SUBMARINE!!!!!!!! LOLLOLOLOOL

How many people with A.D.D does it take to screw in a lightbulb

















I RIDE BIKES!

Then there was the clairvoyant who had to quit due to unforseen circumstances.... rolleyes:

whats the difference between a blond and a masquito?



a masquito stops sucking when you slap it

[quote="Eight Ace":1e36b]Then there was the clairvoyant who had to quit due to unforseen circumstances.... rolleyes:[/quote:1e36b]

That makes me wonder..how the hell did Miss Cleo go bankrupt?..didnt the bitch see that shit coming?

[quote="Dr. Deleto":231bf]whats the smartest thing to ever come out of a blonde's mouth?


Einstein's dick[/quote:231bf]

hahhahah. that was good. im going to have to steal it. the_finger:

three guys are traveling in the woods in their jeep when it breaks down. they see an old house in the forest and decide to ask the resident to stay the night. the old lady agrees to let them spend the night, but only has one bedroom in the house. one guy will sleep in the room with her, another in the bathtub, and the last guy will sleep in the laundry room downstairs. during the night, the guy sleeping with the old woman wakes up to go to the bathroom, but cant because the other guy is in the bathroom sleeping with the door locked. since he cant hold it any longer, he takes a shit in his pillow case and throws it in the laundry chute. then next morning, they all sit at the table to eat breakfast and the old woman asks how they slept. the first guy said he slept fine, the bed was very comfortable. the second guy said he had a pain in his neck from the bathtub. the third guy says it was horrible because he was startled in the middle of the night, and beat the shit out of a ghost.