Advice from your father...
 

Tell everyone some advice your father has told you over time, no matter what the subject is.


"Go rob a bank."
"Eat Beans, they make you fart."

----
and this is what my friend's dad told him, "Just as long as you use a condom." (after telling his drunk dad that he is having sex, this was when my friend was 14 or 15)

"you lead the way"
"make what you wanna make"



ps my fuckin comp sucks [img]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v374/johncrichton4881/dinyctis.gif[/img]

"Son....theres comes a point in life where you are going to have a funny feeling, its called love.... when a man and a women make love....he sticks his penis in the womens hole, called a vagina....then sperm comes out and a child is born, now sex can be fun , but your gift as a man should not be abused on a women...find someone you want to spend the rest of your life with....then son you`ll be happy..."

also
"Son, if you marry an asian, african american, or indian or caccuasion just remember their all pink inside."

Some other stuff too

"I know you don't smoke drugs anymore, so I'm trusting you with this"

Refering to his car which I then lost in the mall parking lot and couldn't find for like 2 hours....

biggrin:

'ever smoke drugs in my house again and you wont live in my house'

when someone offers you money, take it.

Don't respond to this thread, and give Mr.B Karma................

"Chris, shut your goddamn mouth!"


after him hearing me swear in my room enough times.

My dad: You know Jay, The living quality of a man goes up 6% when he gets divorced.

Me: Well, how much does it go down when they get married?

My dad: 100%

Me: So why did you bring up divorce? You and mom look happy.

My dad: Oh we are, Just don't get married. Trust me.

"pussy"

"dont bother arguing with a group of woman, youll be wrong no matter what."

"Hippies suck"

Advice from father?

BAHAHAHA!!! annoy:

"Always use a sock"

Here are some gems I heard over and over and over...

"Math is the nucleus of your education."

"Turn that goddamned guitar down or you'll be deaf as a post by 30!"

"You guys be careful now. You get a few fellas drinking 3 and 4 beer..."

"You're going to have a hole burnt in your stomach eating that spicy stuff, my son!"

"Those Atari games are gonna have your mind warped."

"Remember son, your cheapest piece of ass is also your most expensive"

"All women are the same son, they're all nuts"

Best advice from mom thats oh so true:
"If you want something done right, do it yourself"

hahahaha +1

back in high school at one of our school dances ( i was a freshman) I was gonna fight this huge ape on the football team..cept he didint know it biggrin: so i ask my dad for some pointers on the fight:

Dad: Take this..(he hands me a roll of nickels)

Me: what am i supposed to do with this?

Dad: when you punch the fucker in the face make sure you have this in your hand..it will break some knuckles but he will be out in one punch...

annoy:

son, you can be anything you want to be, just dont be a accountant ( which is his profession)

My father told me to be fond of three things in life

A forgiving priest, A Good Doctor and A Clever Accountant

machette you are not schindler

Was waiting for someone to say that....+1 for good observation.

"Better to keep your mouth shut and be thought an idiot than open your mouth and remove all doubt."

"Dont slap guys in the ass with a towel..that means you're gay"
to my brother who is 12

"I took you into this world, i can take you out."

"Fuck you, die."

pretty good advice if i do say so myself, that bastard

what was the advice he gave you when the kids made fun of you cause of your name?
lol courtney

[quote="Scalping Chief":a5383]what was the advice he gave you when the kids made fun of you cause of your name?
lol courtney[/quote:a5383]

No he said LOLZ SON I FUKED J004LYFE WITH A CHIXZ0R NAME...

[quote=Nyck]No he said LOLZ SON I FUKED J004LYFE WITH A CHIXZ0R NAME...[/quote:500db]
lol

[quote="Scalping Chief":44101]what was the advice he gave you when the kids made fun of you cause of your name?
lol courtney[/quote:44101]

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL rock: rock: rock: rock:




































sleeping:

p.s scott your to leet to handle, cant even make a decent come back for you rolleyes:

If you know anything about British ancestry, Courtney is considered a uni-sex name and my dad came from Britain...wait go figure rolleyes: , theres a black guy on Law and Order:CI his name is Courtney..alot of Jamaicans have the name to...so its nothing new and different..if you knew your facts maybe you could make use out of yourself. sleeping:

[quote=Machette]LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL rock: rock: rock: rock:




































sleeping:

p.s scott your to leet to handle, cant even make a decent come back for you rolleyes:

If you know anything about British ancestry, Courtney is considered a uni-sex name and my dad came from Britain...wait go figure rolleyes: , theres a black guy on Law and Order:CI his name is Courtney..alot of Jamaicans have the name to...so its nothing new and different..if you knew your facts maybe you could make use out of yourself. sleeping:[/quote:73cfd]

Struck a nerve? happy:

I think I have a right to defend myself eek:

Don't cry for me courtneytina.

hey newsflash....Your not British, black or Jamaican...so i guess you're just fucked.

Does it matter if I'm not British? No it doesn't. My dad is and thats enough..

[img]http://www.jesusburger.net/upload/lolv22222222222222222222s.jpg[/img]

...

whats that?????

nycks married thread

lol

haha

i miss that theme. cry:

.....LOL.