Advice from your father...
 

Tell everyone some advice your father has told you over time, no matter what the subject is.


"Go rob a bank."
"Eat Beans, they make you fart."

----
and this is what my friend's dad told him, "Just as long as you use a condom." (after telling his drunk dad that he is having sex, this was when my friend was 14 or 15)

"you lead the way"
"make what you wanna make"



ps my fuckin comp sucks [img]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v374/johncrichton4881/dinyctis.gif[/img]

"Son....theres comes a point in life where you are going to have a funny feeling, its called love.... when a man and a women make love....he sticks his penis in the womens hole, called a vagina....then sperm comes out and a child is born, now sex can be fun , but your gift as a man should not be abused on a women...find someone you want to spend the rest of your life with....then son you`ll be happy..."

also
"Son, if you marry an asian, african american, or indian or caccuasion just remember their all pink inside."

Some other stuff too

"I know you don't smoke drugs anymore, so I'm trusting you with this"

Refering to his car which I then lost in the mall parking lot and couldn't find for like 2 hours....

biggrin:

'ever smoke drugs in my house again and you wont live in my house'

when someone offers you money, take it.

Don't respond to this thread, and give Mr.B Karma................

"Chris, shut your goddamn mouth!"


after him hearing me swear in my room enough times.

My dad: You know Jay, The living quality of a man goes up 6% when he gets divorced.

Me: Well, how much does it go down when they get married?

My dad: 100%

Me: So why did you bring up divorce? You and mom look happy.

My dad: Oh we are, Just don't get married. Trust me.

"pussy"

"dont bother arguing with a group of woman, youll be wrong no matter what."

"Hippies suck"

Advice from father?

BAHAHAHA!!! annoy:

"Always use a sock"

Here are some gems I heard over and over and over...

"Math is the nucleus of your education."

"Turn that goddamned guitar down or you'll be deaf as a post by 30!"

"You guys be careful now. You get a few fellas drinking 3 and 4 beer..."

"You're going to have a hole burnt in your stomach eating that spicy stuff, my son!"

"Those Atari games are gonna have your mind warped."