I shit my pants in 5th grade...

Zap. USMC · **I shit my pants in 5th grade... -** 01-03-2004, 03:46 AM

Well, it's been nearly 8 years ago now but I thought I would share with you guys about the most embarrasing moment in my entire life - literally.

It was 5th grade and I was in English class. EVERY morning it seemed that I had to take a shit in school, I don't really know why... just my bowels had a clock set to dump a load at a certain time. Anywho, my cunt of a teacher always told me and other students who asked to use the bathroom to "hold it" and "use the bathroom before school". FUCK THAT! I'm not going to FORCE shit out of me before school that's NOT EVEN THERE! I was young and didn't really have the discipline to hold my shit, and the biggest problem was... I NEVER farted so it added more of a bloating sensation and forced the shit out even more. So anyways one morning in the start of class I felt the cramps come on and the "Battle of the Buldge" persued! I fought long and hard for half an hour or longer and then the fatal desicion to surrender came. My bowels were literlaly about to explode and I didn't have to balls to ask my teacher to use the bathroom and ive asked to many times before(she was a negro teacher, scared the FUCK outta me) so I let loose and the shit came out like a water dam that just crumpled under pressure. The first turd was a BIG MOTEHR FUCKER I tell you what... I was sitting there for ten minutes with a turd sticking half outta my ass, and I had to get it out! So I pushed and it STILL didn't want to come out! So im thinking to myself... "why the fuck did I ever let loose when now the bastard wont come out?". So my face is BEAT RED and im in the front of class pushing away and then the time of relief came. My plan was to quickly go tot he bathroom and take off my tighty whitties and just continue the day on without any though about it. Little did I know I had a HUGE FUCKING shit stain on the back of my pants and it was clear as day as if someone shit their pants. So Im walking out of the bathroom cocky as can be until someone says "Zach, did you shit your pants?" then the hazing began! My nickname was "Dookie Brown" that entire year of school! Shit was that embarrasing!

Anyone else shit their pants at work/school?? lol

Da_Bian · 01-03-2004, 03:50 AM

hahahahhahahahahaaahhahaha ahahahhahaahahhahahahaaahahahahahahahahahahaah aahahahahahaaahahaaahahhaaha hhuuuuhhhhh *breathe* hahahahhahahahahahahahhahhaahaaaaahahaaahha hahaahahahhahaaahahahahahahaaaa eek:

strvs · 01-03-2004, 04:02 AM

[quote="Da_Bian":ee941]hahahahhahahahahaaahhahaha ahahahhahaahahhahahahaaahahahahahahahahahahaah aahahahahahaaahahaaahahhaaha hhuuuuhhhhh *breathe* hahahahhahahahahahahahhahhaahaaaaahahaaahha hahaahahahhahaaahahahahahahaaaa eek:[/quote:ee941]

imported_Fluffy_Bunny · 01-03-2004, 04:03 AM

mmmmm'k eek: stupid:

Eight Ace · 01-03-2004, 04:05 AM

[quote="Da_Bian":f6755]hahahahhahahahahaaahhahaha ahahahhahaahahhahahahaaahahahahahahahahahahaah aahahahahahaaahahaaahahhaaha hhuuuuhhhhh *breathe* hahahahhahahahahahahahhahhaahaaaaahahaaahha hahaahahahhahaaahahahahahahaaaa eek:[/quote:f6755]

..don't laugh man...shit happens *hugs Capt.Zap* freak:

imported_Fluffy_Bunny · 01-03-2004, 04:18 AM

[quote="Eight Ace":4317e][quote="Da_Bian":4317e]hahahahhahahahahaaahhahaha ahahahhahaahahhahahahaaahahahahahahahahahahaah aahahahahahaaahahaaahahhaaha hhuuuuhhhhh *breathe* hahahahhahahahahahahahhahhaahaaaaahahaaahha hahaahahahhahaaahahahahahahaaaa eek:[/quote:4317e]

..don't laugh man...shit happens *hugs Capt.Zap* freak:[/quote:4317e]

Don't you mean Capt Dookie? biggrin:

Madmartagen · 01-03-2004, 06:27 AM

nice one poopy oOo:

Drew · 01-03-2004, 06:33 AM

[quote="Da_Bian":03e33]hahahahhahahahahaaahhahaha ahahahhahaahahhahahahaaahahahahahahahahahahaah aahahahahahaaahahaaahahhaaha hhuuuuhhhhh *breathe* hahahahhahahahahahahahhahhaahaaaaahahaaahha hahaahahahhahaaahahahahahahaaaa eek:[/quote:03e33]

Somehow.. before I even clicked on the thread.. I knew that Bian would have the first reply.

And wtf are you on making a post like that? oOo:

Madmartagen · 01-03-2004, 06:47 AM

AA.com has turned into a support group for relationship woes and geriatrics.

[DAS REICH] Blitz · 01-03-2004, 07:57 AM

I feel the pain,ive shitmy pants but it was in preschool, how the fuck do you shit your pants in the 5th grade though oOo:

Stinger_Dude · 01-03-2004, 08:39 AM

[quote="[DAS REICH] Blitz":62de0]I feel the pain,ive shitmy pants but it was in preschool, how the fuck do you shit your pants in the 5th grade though oOo:[/quote:62de0]

he was.....special

[DAS REICH] Blitz · 01-03-2004, 09:09 AM

[quote="Stinger_Dude":a417c][quote="[DAS REICH] Blitz":a417c]I feel the pain,ive shitmy pants but it was in preschool, how the fuck do you shit your pants in the 5th grade though oOo:[/quote:a417c]

he was.....special[/quote:a417c]Your one special dumbass

Miscguy · 01-03-2004, 09:31 AM

When ever i needed to shit or use the bathroom i just got up and walked out of the class. If the teacher bitched you simply pose this question. "Does it disrupt you tlaking if i just go, or does it do more damage if i interupt you to ask if i can crap". Have that talk once with what ever teacher and they never bug you again. "But you need a hall pass"... "to walk 50 ft? into the can and back?"

Basically take no shit from your teachers about going to take a shit. Force them to conform to you. As long as you hold the grades, no one will give you any crap.

Merlin122 · 01-03-2004, 10:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Madmartagen

AA.com has turned into a support group for relationship woes and geriatrics.

Poseidon · 01-03-2004, 10:33 AM

whats the equivalent to 5th grade??

how old are u when your in it?