[General Cobra]

Originally Posted by Pyro

America wishes they could ever be the military and economic power France used to be.

And France only wishes they could be half the military and economic power America is now. Go figure.

[WidowMaker555]

No actually i woulda done the same thing if it was bin laden but for 615 dollars i will stilll do it


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v imwithstupid:

[Pyro]

Originally Posted by Vance

Key word USED to be happy:

Better off this way. France was too powerful for their own good.

[Sgt. Paine]

bin laden is using different "skins" hax

[quote:f9d7b]ordered to pay the man $615.[/quote:f9d7b]

thats it?

[Paintballr]

What a dumbass lol

[geRV]

Bet he gets a medal of honor for this

[img]http://homepage.ntlworld.com/gerald.marley/Smilies/smiley_watchout.gif[/img]

[Colonel]

Used to be? How about, never was. Sorry in advance for the long post - I know it's probably been posted before - but it is funny....and true.

FRENCH MILITARY HISTORY

- Gallic Wars
- Lost. In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian.

- Hundred Years War
- Mostly lost, saved at last by female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare; "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman." Sainted.

- Italian Wars
- Lost. France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars when fighting Italians.

- Wars of Religion
- France goes 0-5-4 against the Huguenots

- Thirty Years War
- France is technically not a participant, but manages to get invaded anyway. Claims a tie on the basis that eventually the other participants started ignoring her.

- War of Revolution
- Tied. Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots as chapeaux.

- The Dutch War
- Tied

- War of the Augsburg League/King William's War/French and Indian War
- Lost, but claimed as a tie. Three ties in a row induces deluded Frogophiles the world over to label the period as the height of French military power.

- War of the Spanish Succession
- Lost. The War also gave the French their first taste of a Marlborough, which they have loved every since.

- American Revolution
- In a move that will become quite familiar to future Americans, France claims a win even though the English colonists saw far more action. This is later known as "de Gaulle Syndrome", and leads to the Second Rule of French Warfare; "France only wins when America does most of the fighting."

- French Revolution
- Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French.

- The Napoleonic Wars
- Lost. Temporary victories (remember the First Rule!) due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no match for a British footwear designer.

- The Franco-Prussian War
- Lost. Germany first plays the role of drunk Frat boy to France's ugly girl home alone on a Saturday night.

- World War I
- Tied and on the way to losing, France is saved by the United States. Thousands of French women find out what it's like to not only sleep with a winner, but one who doesn't call her "Fraulein." Sadly, widespread use of condoms by American forces forestalls any improvement in the French bloodline.

- World War II
- Lost. Conquered French liberated by the United States and Britain just as they finish learning the Horst Wessel Song.

- War in Indochina
- Lost. French forces plead sickness; take to bed with the Dien Bien Flu

- Algerian Rebellion
- Lost. Loss marks the first defeat of a western army by a Non-Turkic Muslim force since the Crusades, and produces the First Rule of Muslim Warfare; "We can always beat the French." This rule is identical to the First Rules of the Italians, Russians, Germans, English, Dutch, Spanish, Vietnamese and Esquimaux.

- War on Terrorism
- France, keeping in mind its recent history, surrenders to Germans and Muslims just to be safe. Attempts to surrender to Vietnamese ambassador fail after he takes refuge in a McDonald's.

The question for any country silly enough to count on the French should not be "Can we count on the French?", but rather "How long until France collapses?"

"Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without an accordion. All you do is leave behind a lot of noisy baggage."

Or, better still, the quote from last week's Wall Street Journal: "They're there when they need you."[/b]

[TonyMontana]

- Italian Wars
- Lost. France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars when fighting Italians.


AHSHASHAHSHAHSHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAH HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAH AHAHAHAHHAHAH FRANCE = OWNT TO THE ITALIANS!!!!!11111ROFL

[Pyro]

You waste too much time. You're just mad Napoleon owned.

and under Louis the XIV, not even most of europe could win one battle vs France.

[Zap. USMC]

Bravo Colonel, BRAVO !

biggrin:

[guarnere]

[quote="Cpt. Zapotoski":1fef3]Bravo Colonel, BRAVO !

biggrin:[/quote:1fef3]

[WidowMaker555]

No I own beer:

[Vance]

Originally Posted by Pyro

You waste too much time. You're just mad Napoleon owned.

and under Louis the XIV, not even most of europe could win one battle vs France.

Yeah but he wasn't a purebred French, go figure beer:

[Eames]

Originally Posted by Pyro

You waste too much time. You're just mad Napoleon owned.

and under Louis the XIV, not even most of europe could win one battle vs France.

your an idiot luis xiv did shit except for get france involved in a bunch of wars that they lost and bankrupted france while he was at it.

And like the famous french military history article says, france only owned militarily when they were lead by a non-frenchman...a corsican named napoleon, who was owned by england.

[Pyro]

Originally Posted by Eames

your an idiot luis xiv did shit except for get france involved in a bunch of wars that they lost and bankrupted france while he was at it.

And like the famous french military history article says, france only owned militarily when they were lead by a non-frenchman...a corsican named napoleon, who was owned by england.

Napoleon has no knowledge of naval warfare. British Naval Supremacy was one of th emajor factors to his loss. He still is the reason life is the way it is in alot of countries and not still absolute monachys.