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Rectum Stretcher
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Nyck is Offline
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Default Rectum Stretcher - 04-02-2004, 12:35 PM

While I was flying down the road yesterday, (only 15 mph over) I
noticed a cop with a radar gun sitting on top of a bridge.
Naturally, he pulled me over, walked up to the car and asked me,
"What's the hurry?"
I replied, "I'm late for work."
"Oh yeah?" said the cop. "What do you do?"
"I'm a rectum stretcher," I responded.
The cop said, "What?.... A rectum stretcher? What does a rectum
stretcher DO?"
I said, "Well, I start with one finger, then I work my way up to two
fingers, then three, then four, then my whole hand.
Then I work until I can get both hands in there, and then I slowly
stretch it until it's about 6 foot wide."
The cop asked me, "What the hell do you do with a 6 foot ass hole?"
I simply replied, "You give him a radar gun and park him on top of a
bridge....."
Bail: $100
Ticket: $235
Look on cop's face: Priceless



Bwhaa rock:

Prob OFN but fuck you guys anyway


"I'm a dog chasing cars. I wouldn't know what to do if I caught one. I just *do* things. I'm a wrench in the gears. I *hate* plans."
- The Joker
http://pressthenyckbutton.blogspot.com/
  
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Milla is Offline
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Default 04-02-2004, 12:37 PM

ROFL!!!!


  
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Default 04-02-2004, 01:25 PM

[quote="Capt. John Miller":5bb44]ROFL!!!![/quote:5bb44]

HAHAH thats among the best jokes


  
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Tripper is Offline
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Default 04-02-2004, 01:46 PM

GOATSEGOATSEGOATSEGOATSEGOATSEGOATSEGOATSEGOATSEGO ATSEGOATSEGOATSEGOATSEGOATSE
  
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Default 04-02-2004, 01:49 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tripper
GOATSEGOATSEGOATSEGOATSEGOATSEGOATSEGOATSEGOATSEGO ATSEGOATSEGOATSEGOATSEGOATSEGOATSE
aahahaha


  
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Default 04-02-2004, 01:50 PM

hah. nyckmss was actually funny for once
  
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Akuma is Offline
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Default 04-02-2004, 02:07 PM

rock:


  
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Default 04-02-2004, 02:39 PM

hahahahahhahaha!
  
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Default 04-02-2004, 03:11 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Merlin122
hah. nyckmss was actually funny for once
LOL hes funny all the time. GG!
  
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Bucknub is Offline
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Default 04-02-2004, 03:14 PM

Golden! rock:
  
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Default 04-02-2004, 03:14 PM

olllld. but still funny.
  
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Default 04-03-2004, 10:09 PM

an isntant classic of epic proportions! beer:
  
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Default 04-03-2004, 10:14 PM

[quote="Short Hand":9adec]olllld. but still funny.[/quote:9adec]

Ive never heard it but still funny as hell.


  
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Default 04-03-2004, 10:30 PM

niceee
  
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