[Doctor Duffy]

Oh, crap. Now thats wierd. That is too wierd. I suddenly feel like Im part of a movie or something, where my mission is to stop a guy from commiting suicide. I've never seen anything like that..too wierd.

{EDIT} After reading all 165 comments, this is pretty damn funny. Look at what one guy said:

" Let me make a few suggestions to help you expedite yourself, if I may:

Slit upwards, not across your wrist. Slit your own throat, nice and quickly. If you're going to hang yourself, make sure all knots are tight and practice with a sack of potatoes or another heavy object first to make sure the rope doesn't snap. Also, make sure you have it high enough off the ground to where your feet don't touch floor and you have to start all over again. If shooting yourself is your chosen method, make sure to put the barrel of the gun inside your mouth with the hole directly against your upper palette, and that the gun is loaded with hollowpoints so you will in fact kill yourself and not just turn yourself into a vegetable, draining us of more air and tax dollars to care for your invalid ass.

That should about cover it.

Enjoy the afterlife."

Mean, yet really funny.