[mr.miyagi]

What's black and loud?

Stevie Wonder answering the iron.

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Two blokes are standing at a bar.

One says to the other, "Do you know what?
I could have sex with any woman in this pub".

"Oh yeah? How's that then?"

"I'm a rapist".

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pinochio goes to gipetto to ask for a solution to his problems

P - no ladies wanna make love to me anymore , they say the splinters in their
hoops are killing them, im getting a bad name

G - ive got just the solution for this problem son , take this and rub it on your cock
until its smooth and the girls wont have this problem anymore , he says handing
pinochio some sand paper

two weeks later gipetto bumps into pinochio in the boozer

G - hows that workin out for you with the girls pinochio

P - girls, who needs girls

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Two fellas are walking down the street. They see a dog on a lawn licking his bollocks with pride.

1) "Fuck me, man. That looks cool. I wish I could do that!"

2) "I think you better pet him first."