WOULDN'T IT BE GREAT

Sgt>Stackem · **WOULDN'T IT BE GREAT -** 03-08-2006, 10:39 AM

WOULDN'T IT BE GREAT TO TURN ON THE TV AND HEAR ANY US. PRESIDENT, DEMOCRAT OR REPUBLICAN GIVE THE FOLLOWING
SPEECH?

My Fellow Americans: As you all know, the defeat of Iraq regime has
been completed. Since congress does not want to spend any more
money on this war, our mission in Iraq is complete.

This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all American forces from Iraq. This action will be complete within 30 days. It is now
to begin the reckoning.

Before me, I have two lists. One list contains the names of countries
which have stood by our side during the Iraq conflict. This list is short.
The United Kingdom, Spain, Bulgaria, Australia, and Poland are some
of the countries listed there.

The other list contains everyone not on the first list. Most of the world's nations are on that list. My press secretary will be distributing copies of both lists later this evening.

Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to those nations on List 2 ceases immediately and indefinitely. The money saved during the first year alone will pretty much pay for the costs of the Iraqi war.

The American people are no longer going to pour money into third world Hell-holes and watch those government leaders grow fat on corruption.

Need help with a famine? Wrestling with an epidemic? Call France.

In the future, together with Congress, I will work to redirect this money toward solving the vexing social problems we still have at home.

On that note, a word to terrorist organizations; Screw with us and we will hunt you down and eliminate you and all your friends from the face of the earth.

Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize? Try France, or maybe China.

I am ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations with France,
Germany, and Russia. Thanks for all your help, comrades. We are retiring from NATO as well. Bon chance, mes amis.

I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing the many UN
diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more than two unpaid parking tickets to sites where those vehicles will be stripped, shredded and crushed. I don't care about whatever treaty pertains to this. You creeps have tens of thousands of unpaid tickets. Pay those tickets tomorrow or watch your precious Benzes, Beamers and limos be turned over to some of the finest chop shops in the world. I love New York.

Mexico is also on List 2. President Fox and his entire corrupt government really need an attitude adjustment. I will have a couple extra tank and infantry divisions sitting around. Guess where I am going to put em? Yep, border security. So start doing something with your oil. Oh, by the way, the United States is abrogating the NAFTA treaty - starting now.

We are tired of the one-way highway. Immediately, we'll be drilling for oil
Alaska which will take care of this country's oil needs for decades to come. If you're an environmentalist who opposes this decision, I refer you to List 2 above: pick a country and move there. They care.

It is time for America to focus on its own welfare and its own citizens. Some will accuse us of isolationism. I answer them by saying, "darn tootin."

Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent life around the world has only earned us the undying enmity of just about everyone on the planet. It is time to eliminate hunger in America. It is time to eliminate homelessness in America. It is time to eliminate World Cup Soccer from America.

To the nations on List 1, a final thought. Thanks guys. We owe you and we
won't forget.

To the nations on List 2, a final thought: You might want to learn to speak
Arabic. God bless America. Thank you and good night. If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you are reading it in English, thank a soldier.

mR.cLeAn · 03-08-2006, 11:24 AM

Most of that is gay, is not even a remote posibility to remove all troops with in 30 days. All other countries have the right to bitch about anything as long as they don't attack us. We must maintain, relations with all foreign nations ... otherwise they will all see how well the US does, and they might want help or join many nations against us ... and than fight a war in our Country ( I leaned that in Civ 3 lol). Helping other nations is like good PR, plus what are the rich in this country going to do with all their money, give it to the poor here?

Nyck · 03-08-2006, 01:51 PM

sorry thats dumb.

Coleman · 03-08-2006, 02:01 PM

it gave me a chuckle

Machette · 03-08-2006, 02:05 PM

Sorry but it was not funny.

Tripper · 03-08-2006, 02:23 PM

What a load of fucking shit.

Oh and the comment towards the terrorists? LOL - Well it's obvious that approach doesn't work.

I'm sure they'd invite you to come and make them martyrs...

Stammer · 03-08-2006, 05:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tripper

What a load of fucking shit.

Whatada · **Re: WOULDN'T IT BE GREAT -** 03-08-2006, 06:18 PM

[quote="Sgt>Stackem":0338b]WOULDN'T IT BE GREAT TO TURN ON THE TV AND HEAR ANY US. PRESIDENT, DEMOCRAT OR REPUBLICAN GIVE THE FOLLOWING SPEECH?[/quote:0338b]Umm.. Not really, no.

Coleman · 03-08-2006, 06:32 PM

you people are taking this way too seriously. Obviously this stuff is a bit out there. It's just one of those chainmails in e-mail...not a something a Congress member is going to propose at the next hearings.

Madmartagen · 03-08-2006, 07:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stammer

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tripper

What a load of fucking shit.

Unknown_Sniper · 03-08-2006, 07:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tripper

I'm sure they'd invite you to come and make them martyrs...

I would gladly make any terrorist a Martyr so an invitation with a Date and location of where they will be would be very nice.

Sgt>Stackem · 03-08-2006, 08:47 PM

jeez, it was tongue in cheek

lighten up Francis

Tripper · 03-08-2006, 09:02 PM

[quote="Unknown_Sniper":c4104]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tripper

I'm sure they'd invite you to come and make them martyrs...

I would gladly make any terrorist a Martyr so an invitation with a Date and location of where they will be would be very nice.[/quote:c4104]

Do you know what a Martyr is?

You'd only be influencing MORE muslims to do the same thing...You cut off the head of a martyr, and two more grow back in it's place.

Unknown_Sniper · 03-08-2006, 11:49 PM

The whole idea is that they think they would be dieing for a cause. If you killed enough "martyrs" fast enough, other followers would realize nothing was being accomplished except people going out and getting themselves killed and therefore they would stop tryign to be martyrs. Yeah it would probably take a lot of killing but it would eventually happen.

As for the story, I got a chuckle Stackem.

mR.cLeAn · 03-09-2006, 08:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Coleman

you people are taking this way too seriously. Obviously this stuff is a bit out there. It's just one of those chainmails in e-mail...not a something a Congress member is going to propose at the next hearings.

Thats how I took it, as just a thought ... and I still think is really dumb thought. Is like saying, wouldn't it be nice if the president slap the shit out of the next person who talked shit about him ... that question is a bit better than the main question, but is still very stupid and unlikely.