[Zoner]

I told you, I jerk with the LEFT hand...the LEFT!

Thanks Paint...I've been toying with the idea of getting a Gripmaster for years.

I think at this point, I'll go with this:

1. Relax, for fuck sakes...I'm not playing Madison Square Gardens.
2. Warm up the right hand using a stress ball or those weightlifter grippy squeezy things (sorry if I'm getting too technical).
3. Stay hydrated...drink beer AFTER the show, water before.

If those things don't work, I'll give up and play the fucking spoons or something.