[Machette]

Started reading then stopped after the 4th paragraph...way to many cliches.
The whole beginning with the idea of the lone submarine captain, having his crew look up to him as a big brother was the worst cliche. This guy has watched das boot to many times.

[Trunks]

Originally Posted by Machette

Started reading the then stopped after the 4th paragraph...way to many cliches.
The whole beginning with the idea of the lone submarine captain, having his crew look up to him as a big brother was the worst cliche. This guy has watched das boot to many times.

Lol, I actually thought about that a bit too, but I reccomend you finish it up, personally, I liked the last half a bit better, for the first half he seems to sort of be setting the scene.
[quote="9mm BeRetTa":a4303]Was alright.

It's actually not a long read at all, so all of you above should read.[/quote:a4303]Cool, once again, thanks. Any suggestions for improvement?

Anyway, +1's to the both of you(danm the 1 hour rule lol).