[Tripper]

[quote="Mr.Buttocks":9356d]

Originally Posted by Tripper

Most clever joke in this thread.

I think a cavemen told that joke originally.[/quote:9356d]

That caveman was clever.

[snipes]

[quote="Mr.Buttocks":d9e15]George Bush has a heart attack and dies. He goes to hell where the Devil is waiting for him. "I don't know what to do here," says the devil. You're on my list but I have no room for you, but you definitely have to stay here, so I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I've got 3 people here who weren't quite as bad as you. I'll let one of them go, but you have to take their place. I'll even let YOU decide who leaves."

George thought that sounded pretty good, so he agreed.

The devil opened the first room. In it was Richard Nixon and a large pool of water; he kept diving in and surfacing empty handed over and over and over. Such was his fate in hell.

"HELL No!" George said. "I don't think so. I'm not a good swimmer and don't think I could do that all day long."

The devil led him to the next room. In it was Tony Blair with a sledgehammer and a room full of rocks. All he did was swing that Hammer, time after time after time.

"No! I've got this problem with my shoulder. I would be in constant agony if all I could do was break rocks all day!" commented George.

The devil opened a third door. In it, George saw Bill Clinton lying on the floor with his arms staked over his head and his legs staked in spread eagle pose. Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky, doing what she does best.

George Bush looked at this in disbelief for a while and finally said, "Yeah, I can handle this." The devil smiled and said...."Monica, you're free to go!"[/quote:d9e15]

[img]http://www.csua.berkeley.edu/~eric/images/humor/monical.jpg[/img]

[Hawke]

looks nothing like jizz annoy:

[Unknown_Sniper]

On a diplomatic mission, Bush goes to Iraq to negotiate with Saddam. While sitting in Saddam's office, Saddam begins to become angry with and presses a button on his chair. A boxing glove then swoops across the room and hits Bush in the face. They resume talking, but then Saddam gets angry again and presses the button again. Another boxing glove then comes out and hits Bush in the face. Bush becomes mad so Saddam presses the button a third time and his guards come in and drag Bush out of the office.

A few weeks later, Saddam comes to America to negotiate with Bush again. While in Bushes office, Saddam makes Bush angry so Bush then presses a button on his chair. Nothing happens. As the negotion tenses up, Bush presses the button 2 more times but both times, nothing happens.

Saddam then stands up and says "Enough of your trickery, I'm going back to Iraq!"

Bush then says, "What Iraq?"

[snipes]

hahahaha rock:

[9mm BeRetTa]

A helicopter was flying around above Seattle when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft's electronic navigation and communications equipment.

Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter's position. The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, and held up a handwritten sign that said "WHERE AM I?" in large letters. People in the tall building quickly responded to the aircraft, drew a large sign, and held it in a building window. Their sign said "YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER."

The pilot smiled, waved, looked at his map, determined the course to steer to SEATAC airport, and landed safely. After they were on the ground, the copilot asked the pilot how he had done it.

"I knew it had to be the Microsoft Building, because they gave me a technically correct but completely useless answer."

[lasagna]

Originally Posted by WhiteEcko

hahahaha rock:

[Zoner]

A monkey is sitting in a tree smoking a joint when a lizard walks
past, looks up and says to the monkey "Hey, what're you doing?"

The monkey replies, "Smokin' a joint, come up and have
some." So the lizard climbs up and sits next to the monkey and they smoke a few joints.

After a while the lizard says his mouth is 'dry' and he's going to get a
drink from the river. The lizard is so stoned that he leans over too far and falls into the river.

A crocodile sees this and swims over to the lizard and helps him to the
side, then asks the lizard, "What's the matter with you?"

The lizard explains to the crocodile that he was sitting up a tree with
a monkey smoking pot, got too stoned and then fell into the river while taking a drink.

The crocodile says he has to check this out and wanders into the jungle.
He finds the tree where the monkey is sitting finishing up a joint.

The crocodile yells up to the monkey and says "Hey!"

The monkey looks down and says,"Fuuuuuuuuuuuck........How much
water did you drink?!"

[strvs]

ahahaha rock:

[bukdez]

^^ AWESOME!!!!.... bwahahahaha!... +1 for sure....

[strvs]

Originally Posted by bukdez

^^ AWESOME!!!!.... bwahahahaha!... +1 for sure....

thanks!

[bukdez]

Originally Posted by strvs

thanks!

not you, i meant Zoner, but i'll give you one in a bit...

[strvs]

dance: rock:































ban:

[Pyro]

Sex, drugs and Rock N Roll, speed, weed and birth control. Lifes a bitch and then you die so fuck the world and lets get HIGH........

[Pyro]

A woman walks into a supermarket and buys:
1 bar of soap
1 toothbrush
1 tube toothpaste
1 loaf of bread
1 pint of milk
1 single serving cereal
1 single serving frozen dinner
The guy at the checkout looks at her and says "Single are you?"
The woman replies very sarcastically "How did you guess?"
He replies, "Because you're ugly."