Alliedassault           
FAQ Calendar
Go Back   Alliedassault > Lounge > Offtopic
Reload this Page Funny jokes, i mean funny jokes and interesting facts
Offtopic Any topics not related to the games we cover. Doesn't mean this is a Spam-fest. Profanity is allowed, enter at your own risk.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old
  (#46)
Drew is Offline
2nd Lieutenant
 
Posts: 3,292
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Myrtle Beach, SC
  Send a message via AIM to Drew  
Default 09-23-2004, 10:40 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Machette
another great canada vs.america thread ffs... annoy:
I think the discussion on America vs. Canada is pretty much over.

Eames, why don't you tell the joke about the friend in the airport:

Your buddy gets on the plane with a shiner on his right eye. The who sits down next to him has a shiner on the exact same eye. So the guy asks your buddy, "Hey, how did you get your black eye?" And your buddy says, "Well, it was kind of a tongue twister thing. I was at the ticket counter and I meant to ask for two tickets to Pittsburgh, only the clerk had huge knockers and I asked for two pickets to Tittsburgh. It went downhill from there." So the guy says to your buddy, "That's amazing. I got mine from a bit of a tongue twister as well. I was sitting at the breakfast table with my wife this morning. I meant to say, 'Honey, could you pass the cream?' but it came out, 'You ruined my life you self-centered, soul-sucking bitch.'"



Chairperson, Coastal Carolina Students for Ron Paul 2008
  
Reply With Quote
Old
  (#47)
fujimi7su is Offline
Senior Member
 
Posts: 1,785
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Cumming, IA
   
Default 09-23-2004, 10:41 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Machette
[img]http://ktog.net/upload/fuckyou.gif[/img]
VACUUM

VACUUM

oOo:

why must you be so hostile, all i want is love cry: loney:
  
Reply With Quote
Old
  (#48)
fujimi7su is Offline
Senior Member
 
Posts: 1,785
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Cumming, IA
   
Default 09-23-2004, 10:41 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Noctis
Quote:
Originally Posted by Machette
another great canada vs.america thread ffs... annoy:
I think the discussion on America vs. Canada is pretty much over.

Eames, why don't you tell the joke about the friend in the airport:

Your buddy gets on the plane with a shiner on his right eye. The who sits down next to him has a shiner on the exact same eye. So the guy asks your buddy, "Hey, how did you get your black eye?" And your buddy says, "Well, it was kind of a tongue twister thing. I was at the ticket counter and I meant to ask for two tickets to Pittsburgh, only the clerk had huge knockers and I asked for two pickets to Tittsburgh. It went downhill from there." So the guy says to your buddy, "That's amazing. I got mine from a bit of a tongue twister as well. I was sitting at the breakfast table with my wife this morning. I meant to say, 'Honey, could you pass the cream?' but it came out, 'You ruined my life you self-centered, soul-sucking bitch.'"
happy:
  
Reply With Quote
Old
  (#49)
Machette is Offline
Major
 
Machette's Avatar
 
Posts: 6,413
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: University of Guelph
   
Default 09-23-2004, 10:44 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Noctis
Quote:
Originally Posted by Machette
another great canada vs.america thread ffs... annoy:
I think the discussion on America vs. Canada is pretty much over.

It's not over till short hand replies... oOo:
  
Reply With Quote
Old
  (#50)
Ferich is Offline
2nd Lieutenant
 
Ferich's Avatar
 
Posts: 3,517
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Lancaster, Pennsylvania
  Send a message via AIM to Ferich  
Default 09-23-2004, 10:45 PM

It's not over tilWHO GIVES A FUCK
  
Reply With Quote
Old
  (#51)
Machette is Offline
Major
 
Machette's Avatar
 
Posts: 6,413
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: University of Guelph
   
Default 09-23-2004, 10:46 PM

eek:
  
Reply With Quote
Old
  (#52)
Fireal is Offline
Senior Member
 
Posts: 6,541
Join Date: Feb 2003
  Send a message via MSN to Fireal  
Default 09-23-2004, 10:56 PM

Take the joke from Good Will Hunting.

"So im on a plane right, and the pilot does his thing you know the "So we're cruising at 35,00 feet blah blah blah" he puts the mic on, and says "Man. All i want right now is a blowjob and a cup of coffe" little did he know the Mic was still on. So the Stewadess starts running up to the cock-pit to tell the Pilot the mic is on. As shes running up the aisle, a guy says "Hey babe, dont forget the coffee"


I probably destroyed it, but meh.
  
Reply With Quote
Old
  (#53)
Quze is Offline
Senior Member
 
Posts: 261
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Ontario, Canada
   
Default 09-24-2004, 12:17 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Noctis
Quote:
Originally Posted by quzemoto
[img]http://storage.msn.com/s1pZ8pl_R1n1zFJB4WtcNUryOhj1fDeBEouYmBaSF1dGgnPXma pHo6auSf1C6k23CLhyeJaD-IcVQvFztkErEtdMg/00.jpg?MdToken=4206852596644754[/img]
Canadian Navy (2004):

Frigates (Halifax): 12
Destroyers (Iroquois): 4
Submarines (Victoria): 4
Mine Countermeasures Ships (Kingston): 12
Replenishment Vessels (Protecteur): 2
Oceanographic Vessels (Quest): 1

United States Navy (2004):

Aircraft Carriers: 12
Fleet Ballistic Missile Submarines: 18
Surface Combatants: 96
Nuclear Attack Submarines: 53
Amphibious Warfare Ships: 37
Combat Logistics Ships: 34
Support/Mine Warfare Ships: 66
Active Reserves: 14
Strategic Sealift: 72

Canadian Army (2004):

Approximate strength of Army (Regular Force): 19, 500
Approximate strength of Army (Reserve Force): 15, 500
Approximate number of civilians employed by the Army: 4, 200

United States Army (2004):

Approximate strength of Army (Regular Force): 494,000
Approximate strength of Army (Reserve Force): 212,000

Canadian Air Force (2004):

Combat Aircraft:

CF-18 Hornet: 119 (60 operational/59 fighter training, testing and rotation)
CH-124 Sea King: 28

United States Air Force (2004):

Combat Aircraft:

A-10/OA-10 THUNDERBOLT II: 273/98
AC-130H/U GUNSHIP: 8/13
B-1B LANCER: 60
B-2 SPIRIT: 21 (1 test)
B-52 STRATOFORTRESS: 94
F-117A NIGHTHAWK: 55
F-15 EAGLE: 522
F-15E STRIKE EAGLE: 217
F-16C/D FIGHTING FALCON: 1088/180
GLOBAL HAWK (UAV): Classified
HH-60G PAVE HAWK: 105
MC-130E/H COMBAT TALON I/II: 24/14
MC-130P COMBAT SHADOW: 28
MH-53J/M PAVE LOW: 13/25
RQ-/MQ-1 PREDATOR (UAV): 68

These were all taken from the official military websites of each country.

NYSE Currency Power vs. the USD:

$1.00USD = $1.284CAD

Estimated GDP as of 2003:

Canadian GDP (USD): $923 billion
United States GDP (USD): $10.40 trillion

End of Discussion.
This had nothing to do with the military. Eames asked for intresting facts. Canada is to the North (top) And is biggger. And if it was prison USA would be our bitch.

Besides, Look at Iraq. They've managed to fight you guys for over a year now and all they really have are Ak's, RPG's and homemade bombs.

toodles.
  
Reply With Quote
Old
  (#54)
Milla is Offline
Major General
 
Milla's Avatar
 
Posts: 14,130
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Fredericksburg, Virginia, USA
  Send a message via AIM to Milla  
Default 09-24-2004, 12:36 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Merlin122
[img]http://www.menshealth.gr/id/files/5636/Gay%20Speedo%20Muscles.jpg[/img]

i see you love gay country already
Do you actually look for these pictures?!


  
Reply With Quote
Old
  (#55)
ninty is Offline
Major General
 
ninty's Avatar
 
Posts: 12,683
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Calgary
   
Default 09-24-2004, 12:39 AM

sleeping: /judas
  
Reply With Quote
Old
  (#56)
geRV is Offline
General of the Army
 
Posts: 18,202
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Ireland
   
Default 09-24-2004, 12:41 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Noctis
Quote:
Originally Posted by quzemoto
[img]http://storage.msn.com/s1pZ8pl_R1n1zFJB4WtcNUryOhj1fDeBEouYmBaSF1dGgnPXma pHo6auSf1C6k23CLhyeJaD-IcVQvFztkErEtdMg/00.jpg?MdToken=4206852596644754[/img]
Canadian Navy (2004):

Frigates (Halifax): 12
Destroyers (Iroquois): 4
Submarines (Victoria): 4
Mine Countermeasures Ships (Kingston): 12
Replenishment Vessels (Protecteur): 2
Oceanographic Vessels (Quest): 1

United States Navy (2004):

Aircraft Carriers: 12
Fleet Ballistic Missile Submarines: 18
Surface Combatants: 96
Nuclear Attack Submarines: 53
Amphibious Warfare Ships: 37
Combat Logistics Ships: 34
Support/Mine Warfare Ships: 66
Active Reserves: 14
Strategic Sealift: 72

Canadian Army (2004):

Approximate strength of Army (Regular Force): 19, 500
Approximate strength of Army (Reserve Force): 15, 500
Approximate number of civilians employed by the Army: 4, 200

United States Army (2004):

Approximate strength of Army (Regular Force): 494,000
Approximate strength of Army (Reserve Force): 212,000

Canadian Air Force (2004):

Combat Aircraft:

CF-18 Hornet: 119 (60 operational/59 fighter training, testing and rotation)
CH-124 Sea King: 28

United States Air Force (2004):

Combat Aircraft:

A-10/OA-10 THUNDERBOLT II: 273/98
AC-130H/U GUNSHIP: 8/13
B-1B LANCER: 60
B-2 SPIRIT: 21 (1 test)
B-52 STRATOFORTRESS: 94
F-117A NIGHTHAWK: 55
F-15 EAGLE: 522
F-15E STRIKE EAGLE: 217
F-16C/D FIGHTING FALCON: 1088/180
GLOBAL HAWK (UAV): Classified
HH-60G PAVE HAWK: 105
MC-130E/H COMBAT TALON I/II: 24/14
MC-130P COMBAT SHADOW: 28
MH-53J/M PAVE LOW: 13/25
RQ-/MQ-1 PREDATOR (UAV): 68

These were all taken from the official military websites of each country.

NYSE Currency Power vs. the USD:

$1.00USD = $1.284CAD

Estimated GDP as of 2003:

Canadian GDP (USD): $923 billion
United States GDP (USD): $10.40 trillion

End of Discussion.


Flag waving homo's for the win. sleeping:

[img]http://homepage.ntlworld.com/gerald.marley/Smilies/adore.gif[/img]



oOo: oOo: oOo:



[img]http://homepage.ntlworld.com/gerald.marley/Smilies/ubermoron.gif[/img]


Oh and


[img]http://homepage.ntlworld.com/gerald.marley/Smilies/icon_stfu.gif[/img]




Quote:
Originally Posted by Nyck
But one of her fucking grandkids, pookie, rayray or lil-nub was probably slanging weed or rocks out of the house.
  
Reply With Quote
Old
  (#57)
elitecloud is Offline
Senior Member
 
Posts: 1,495
Join Date: May 2003
Location: here
   
Default 09-24-2004, 01:12 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fireal
What do you call cheese that isnt yours?


NACHO CHEESE

loool, who ever posted that before (forgot the name)GG

dat's mein!! roffle!
  
Reply With Quote
Old
  (#58)
Zoner is Offline
Administrator
 
Zoner's Avatar
 
Posts: 17,739
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Camp Crystal Lake
   
Default 09-24-2004, 07:44 AM

Quit the Canada vs USA bullshit, you sacklickers. mad:

Knock knock?
Who's there?
Go fuck yourself. Smokes, now.

There's a joke for ya.


http://www.fpsgameforums.com/forums/image.php?type=sigpic&userid=5399&dateline=1213387  247
  
Reply With Quote
Old
  (#59)
bukdez is Offline
1st Lieutenant
 
bukdez's Avatar
 
Posts: 4,948
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: humping gobots...
   
Default 09-24-2004, 08:57 AM

ok ok.... I can end the US vs. Canada thing right now, forever...

We all know that what makes us important is how big our cocks are, right?...

So the American's cock is the Washington Monument at 555 feet, 5 1/8 inches (169.29 meters)...

Canada's cock is the CN Tower at 1,815.39 feet (553.33 metres), more than thrice the size...

So there you have our cock is huge!!!....
  
Reply With Quote
Old
  (#60)
Zoner is Offline
Administrator
 
Zoner's Avatar
 
Posts: 17,739
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Camp Crystal Lake
   
Default 09-24-2004, 09:00 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by bukdez
So there you have our cock is huge!!!....
...and quite pointy, apparently.


http://www.fpsgameforums.com/forums/image.php?type=sigpic&userid=5399&dateline=1213387  247
  
Reply With Quote
Reply



Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump



Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.12 by ScriptzBin
Copyright ©2000 - 2025, vBulletin Solutions Inc.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
© 1998 - 2007 by Rudedog Productions | All trademarks used are properties of their respective owners. All rights reserved.