[Fireal]

[url:17440]http://www.activehistory.co.uk/head2head/hitler/activitiy.htm[/url:17440]

[Shroom]

Are you a n00b?
Hitler:I do apologise, but I don't know what you are getting at! Why not submit this question to ActiveHistory to update my brain?

[Chronic Diarrhea]

Did you have one ball?

There is a vicious rumor that I lost one of my testicles when I tried to urinate in the mouth of a goat for sexual thrills. Whether that is true or not is none of your business, but I am certainly not any less of a man because of it.

[Zap. USMC]

Bahahahaha !

[Chronic Diarrhea]

Go to hell bitch!

Go wash your mouth out with soap and water, you disgusting beast!

biggrin: biggrin:

[Chronic Diarrhea]

Are you German?

I don't understand your question...

oOo: oOo: biggrin:

[Chronic Diarrhea]

Other questions I asked:

Did you get owned by Chinese midgets?

Do you have a large johnson?

Why do you have such a gay moustache?

How come you never smiled?

Did you ever have sex with a Jew?

Who's the finest piece of ass you've ever hooked up with?

Was Eva Braun hot?

How come you always say NEIN!! on message forums??

[Chronic Diarrhea]

Sorry for the spam but this just happened:

I want to suck your cock!

Does this face look bothered?

biggrin: biggrin:

[SoLiDUS]

Question: How big is your wee-wee ?
Answer: Read my lips. I'm not too bad considering I have been dead since 1945. Thanks for asking!

LOL!

Are you homosexual?

I didn't have a strong sex drive, but there is no proof that I was homosexual. I was initially tolerant of homosexuals - a number of them had prominent positions in the party. However, as my ideas about eugenics hardened and they started to attract bad publicity I clamped down on them mercilessly - even those who had been instrumental in my rise to the top, such as Ernst Rohm.

do you love men?

I love my wife, my mother, and my Fatherland!

Do you have hot, meaningless sex with a pig?

I'm not really interested in that sort of thing, to be honest; I've got more important things to be worried about.

Would you suck my schlong for a nickel?

I don't understand your question - please submit it to the webmaster to update my brain!

[Captain Bunny]

Me: Should i date a 15 year old?

hitler: The most obvious answer to that is this. I was born on 20th April 1889 in Braunau am Inn, a pretty Austrian town with houses painted in pastel yellows, pinks and blues. The house in which I was born is now used as a 'centre of international understanding' as a warning of the prejudice and hatred my regime generated.

me: that was really a obvious answer by the way, you didnt get out much did you?

hitler: My English must be getting rusty - I didn't get that question at all - either rephrase it or submit it to ActiveHistory to amend my brain!

me: My penis is getting rusty as i havent had sex in a few months, how about you?

hitler: Well, it sounds like you are a real class act using language like that!

me: Im not the one who ordered the deaths of millions, am i?

hitler: The SS - Schutz-Staffel, or protection squad - were called 'Blackshirts' and were my private bodyguard. They were led by Himmler, who built it into a force of 50,000 Aryan 'Supermen'. Even a filling was enough to keep you out of this squad! The 'Deaths Head Units' in the SS controlled the concentration camps, and were directly responsible for millions of deaths on my orders.

me: Dont try and pin the blame on your friends it was you who gave the orders right?

hitler: I found it very difficult to form close personal relationships with anyone, to be honest. Especially once I came to power and I saw plots everywhere - this is what led to the Night of the Long Knives, which saw the execution of Ernst Rohm.

me: So, you werent close to people, you must of masturbated a lot i take it?

hitler: does this face look bothered?

me: Nice one man, i admire your honesty, so, hows the wife?

hitler: My wife was Eva Braun (born 1912). Many people think I never made love to her (not that she was bothered). I liked her as she was a quiet, middle class Catholic from Munich. We married in May 1945 and we killed ourselves the following day: she poisoned herself, I shot myself. It was her decision to kill herself - I have nothing to feel guilty about.

me: Marriage must be tough if you only lasted a day, dont you feel like a fool?

hitler: I won the iron cross for bravery TWICE in World War One. I was no coward. My lack of faith in drugs meant that I would even have teeth extracted without anaesthetic!

me: Brave man indeed, but seriously, marraige? what were you thinking?

hitler: Life in Germany under the Nazis (National Socialists) depended very much on who you were. If you were an Aryan, then life could be good. If you were an 'undesirable' then things were very different indeed!

me: You were hitler, you started it all, why did you care what anyone thought?

hitler: My only serious affair before Eva Braun was with Geli Raubal, my 17-year old neice, starting in 1928, when I was 19. She committed suicide under the pressure of the affair in 1931. The affair was hushed up because it would have been bad publicity for me. There are rumours that I raped her, but these are unproven. Eva Braun also committed suicide.

me: You dated her, should i date the 15 year old?

hitler: You are obviously brainless as well as ugly. I was born on 20th April 1889 in Braunau am Inn, a pretty Austrian town with houses painted in pastel yellows, pinks and blues. The house in which I was born is now used as a 'centre of international understanding' as a warning of the prejudice and hatred my regime generated.

me: I can see why people hated you, you know you have an attitude right?

hitler: Those sorts of value judgements do not interest me in the slightest. Keep your spineless moralising to yourself. History is made by people like me who take tough and perhaps unpopular decisions, not by lily-livered cowards like you!

me: Dont argue with me hitler, like your wars, you wont win.

hitler: I probably understand more than you would guess.

me: I find that hard to beleive. You do know you lost the war?

hitler: In my view, both world wars were caused because the world ganged up on Germany; Germany lost both world wars because it was 'stabbed in the back' by the 'enemy within'. In World War One, the spineless leaders of democracy insisted on humiliating surrender. In World War Two, the German people were infected with propaganda and were a disgrace to the Aryan race. Naturally, I bear no responsibility at all - I am a genius!

me: So it had nothing to do with the allies kicking your sorry ass?

hitler: Why is it that the first thing people ask me is whether I am gay, or just swear at me?.

me: I never said you were gay, why are you so paranoid?

hitler: I didn't have a strong sex drive, but there is no proof that I was homosexual. I was initially tolerant of homosexuals - a number of them had prominent positions in the party. However, as my ideas about eugenics hardened and they started to attract bad publicity I clamped down on them mercilessly - even those who had been instrumental in my rise to the top, such as Ernst Rohm.

me: I never said you were. Whats with all the answers about your sexuality?

hitler: does this face look bothered?

me:No, but im starting to get worried here. you sure you never smoked pole?

hitler: I did not start a world war in 1939, and would not wish to start one if I was alive today. It only started because Britain and France would not accept my takeover of Poland. They declared war on me, not vice versa!

me: You changed the subject pretty quick. So you think you were innocent?

hitler: Hmm.... Any Germans that were killed during my period in power were either executed because they were traitors to the Fatherland (Germany), or heroes who died in honourable defence of the Third Reich. Other people were killed only because they opposed my will or did not fit in with my idea of a 'Master Race'.

me: You didnt give much chance for the jews did you?

hitler: My anti-Semitism grew stronger with Germany's surrender at the end of the first World War. I was a fervent German nationalist who stongly believed in a German victory, and when defeat came, I was crushed. I searched for someone to blame and my anti-Semitism became passionate hatred as I placed the responsibility on the Jews. Along with the Jews, other 'enemies' who 'stabbed Germany in the back' and caused her defeat were Communitsts, Socialists, and liberals, among others.

me: In other words the allies kicked your butt and you couldnt handle it?

hitler: I have a great deal of sympathy for the Fascist movement, which originated in Italy under Mussolini. He was my greatest ally in World War Two, but to my dismay he soon showed himself to be a spineless, useless leader whose armies were of no use to me.

me: You didnt have any sympathy for the jews, did you now?

hitler: My anti-Semitism grew stronger with Germany's surrender at the end of the first World War. I was a fervent German nationalist who stongly believed in a German victory, and when defeat came, I was crushed. I searched for someone to blame and my anti-Semitism became passionate hatred as I placed the responsibility on the Jews. Along with the Jews, other 'enemies' who 'stabbed Germany in the back' and caused her defeat were Communitsts, Socialists, and liberals, among others.

me: You just said that Next will youll be telling me there were no allies in Berlin?

hitler: I didn't want to fall into the hands of the enemy alive. They would have used this in their propaganda. And I was disgusted with my people anyway, because they let me down, losing the war.

me: You let yourself down, you were a rubbish leader, why wont you admit it?

hitler: You must have falled straight out of the stupid tree. My wife and I killed ourselves in May 1945 because we were convinced that the Russians would torture and humiliate us if we were caught alive.

me: And why do you think they would have done that?

hitler: I married Eva Braun, a middle class Catholic, because she was incredibly loyal and loving. She was not the brightest of people, but women aren't supposed to be clever anyway in my opinion!

me: You do realise most women would slap you for saying that?

hitler: A woman's place is in the home - Kinder, Kirche, Kuche (Children, Church, Kitchen) is our motto! Each woman has a duty to produce as children for the Fatherland as possible. A nation's future is its children!

me: You seem to like children a lot, is there something youre not telling me?

hitler: Despite having a horrible childhood myself, I genuinely liked children and young people - who would form the new generation of violent warriors for the 1000 year Reich. I never had any of my own (I was not interested in sex, to be frank), although I am sure that they would have been 'supermen' like me if I had any. I encouraged women to have children for the Fatherland and even offered SS men to provide the service - these children were part of the 'Lebensborn' programme..

me: Have you any more sexist and demeaning comments to make?

hitler: I was keen for women to stay at home, but not just to lie around - unless it was in order to get pregnant. The role of a woman is to be a good wife and mother - nothing else ('Kinder, Kirche, Kuche')! Maybe you find that sexist. I don't care if you do though.

me: Charming. So Mr.Hitler, before we wrap things up, have you any last words?

hitler: I'm glad you asked me that. The last Chancellor of the Weimar Republic before I took over was General Kurt von Schleicher.

me: Facinating. Its been a pleasure mr hitler, have you enjoyed yourself?

hitler: You bore me! I'm not too much given to self-reflection.

me: goodbye

hitler: get lost.

me: dont tell me to get lost, bitch.

hitler: The most obvious answer to that is this. Well, it sounds like you are a real class act using language like that!

me: Or most obviously you are a retarded?

hitler: Erm...could you rephrase that, perhaps? I don't quite follow! Alternatively, mail the question to ActiveHistory to update my brain!

me: Point made. thank you mr hitler. sod off now.

hitler: Erm...could you rephrase that, perhaps? I don't quite follow! Alternatively, mail the question to ActiveHistory to update my brain!

me: oh shut up....

[Akuma]

Me: Fuck you, nazi scum.
Hitler: Why is it that the first thing people ask me is whether I am gay, or just swear at me?

Me: Cause your a fucking twat.
Hitler: Foul language is the symbol of a weak intellect.

Me: Your pushing your luck, buddy.
Hitler: I don't understand your question - please submit it to the webmaster to update my brain!

Me: Do it yourself you lazy bastard!
Hitler: Foul language is the symbol of a weak intellect.

Me: Thats it! I'm gonna kick your fucking ass!
Hitler: Well, aren't you clever - you know some swear words!

Me: Shut up... I'm very sensitive.....
Hitler: I became leader of the Nazis in 1922. In particular, my speech-making powers were crucial in helping me to rise in the party (which is why I never shut up); I also designed the Swastika. In 1923 I formulated the 'Fuhrer Principle' in which I decided that one strong leader was necessary to lead the country rather than the weak and divisive democracy which I felt was destroying our nation.

Me: You didn't design the swastica, it was a symbol of piece and luck for thousands of years.
Hitler: The black swastika (crooked cross) in a white circle against a red background, is the symbol of the Nazi Party. The red represents the workers, the white represents nationalism, and the swastika is the symbol of the Aryan race! The definition of the word swastika originates from the Indian Sanskrit word 'svastikah' meaning luck and prosperity. It was first used in Germany by the Thule society, a radical right-wing group led by Dietrich Eckhart. I first saw a swastika in my local church at Linz as a boy.

Me: Dude, you just said you designed the swastica! Now your saying that you saw it on a church?
Hitler: *Same responce as before*

Me: You think I'm that stupid that I didn't understand the first time?
Hitler: I don't think much of you at all, to be quite frank.

Me: Frank? As in Anne Frank? The little jewish girl that you massacred?
Hitler: Anne Frank was a jewish girl who lived in Holland. During the Nazi occupation she hid with her family in an attic to avoid the SS, but we eventually caught her and she died in Belsen concentration camp. I think she deserved to die because I detest jews. You may find that offensive, but I couldn't care less.

Me: I already knew that.
Hitler: I don't think much of you at all, to be quite frank.

Me: Umm... Did I ask what you thought of me?
Hitler: Life in Germany under the Nazis (National Socialists) depended very much on who you were. If you were an Aryan, then life could be good. If you were an 'undesirable' then things were very different indeed!

Me: What the hell are you talking about?
Hitler: I am an atheist and I don't believe in the existence of heaven and hell. I told Albert Speer: 'it is easy for me to end my life. A brief moment and I'm freed of everything, liberated from this painful existence'.

Me: Your an atheist too? Thats cool.
Hitler: I am an atheist. I believe that all religions are worthless. The world is about survival of the fittest, not 'love thy neighbour'!

Me: Umm... okay... Wanna come over to my place and toke it up?
Hitler: Germany only became a better place to live in for particular types of Aryan people. If you were a Jew, homosexual, a tramp or a gypsy, for example, your life was made an absolute misery - if not taken away altogether.

Me: Hmm...
Hitler: I do apologise, but I don't know what you are getting at! Why not submit this question to ActiveHistory to update my brain?

Me: Wait, I had to go to school for 12 years but you can just get your brain upgraded??? Thats not fair.
Hitler: I went to school at Linz in Austria. I was a good student at first but as a teenager I lost interest in studies and became arrogant and brooding. Once I became Fuhrer in 1933, I endeavoured to control the school curriculum in a number of ways: you can ask me about how I controlled History, Biology, and Geography if you wish.

Me: Eh... No thanks.
Hitler: My English must be getting rusty - I didn't get that question at all - either rephrase it or submit it to ActiveHistory to amend my brain!

Me: Wait a second... Didn't you only speak German?
Hitler: I did not start a world war in 1939, and would not wish to start one if I was alive today. It only started because Britain and France would not accept my takeover of Poland. They declared war on me, not vice versa!

Me: I don't think your the real Hitler...
Hitler: I don't think much of you at all, to be quite frank.

Me: Is that all you ever say?
Hitler: Du bist ein Dummkopf - alles verstanden, oder nicht?

Me: Thats more like it!
Hitler: I don't understand your question - please submit it to the webmaster to update my brain!

Me: Sie sind ein fucking Schwein. Ich hoffe Ihre Seele Fäule in der Hölle für Ewigkeit Ihr bastard.
Hitler: Why is it that the first thing people ask me is whether I am gay, or just swear at me?

Me: Cause your a faggot that murdered millions of innocent people. The least you could have done was dedicate your killings to a god you made up when you were stoned.
Hitler: Any Germans that were killed during my period in power were either executed because they were traitors to the Fatherland (Germany), or heroes who died in honourable defence of the Third Reich. Other people were killed only because they opposed my will or did not fit in with my idea of a 'Master Race'.

Me: Yeah well look how far your 'Master Race' got.
Hitler: I'm glad you asked me that. The ideal Aryan woman had blonde hair, blue eyes, heavy hips (for child-bearing), no make-up and no desire for a career. They also cooked 'Eintopf' once a week. The ideal Aryan man had the same colouring but was strong and ready for war!

Me: Yeah, and they got their asses kicked by the Allies.
Hitler: I have a great deal of sympathy for the Fascist movement, which originated in Italy under Mussolini. He was my greatest ally in World War Two, but to my dismay he soon showed himself to be a spineless, useless leader whose armies were of no use to me.

Me: Don't blame your defeat on Moussolini, it was your fault too, coward.
Hitler: The best moment of my life was probably when I found out that Paris had falled to my armies and that France had surrendered (1940). There is actually film footage of me dancing a jig when I heard the news!

Me: Did you really!? Can I see it???
Hitler: Does this face look bothered?

Me: No, just ugly.
Hitler: Take a look at your own face before criticising mine, you trogg!

Me: Say what you want about my face but don't you ever talk my hamster that way!
Hitler: You must have falled straight out of the stupid tree.

Me: Why are you so mean to me? What did I ever do to you?!
Hitler: My only serious affair before Eva Braun was with Geli Raubal, my 17-year old neice, starting in 1928, when I was 19. She committed suicide under the pressure of the affair in 1931. The affair was hushed up because it would have been bad publicity for me. There are rumours that I raped her, but these are unproven. Eva Braun also committed suicide.

Me: Thats pretty nasty, you freak. How tight was she?
Hitler: I've been asked that one before! Considering I shot myself then had my body burned to cinders in 1945 I'm feeling as well as can be expected.

Me: Umm... okay... Whatever you say, buddy.
Hitler: Du bist ein Dummkopf - alles verstanden, oder nicht?

Me: What did you say about my mom?!
Hitler: My father was Alois Hitler, a customs official. He was a cold brutal man who beat both me and my mother, and he died when I was 14: I didn't miss him and hate him more than anyone else. My mother, however, was a pious Catholic called Klara, who was a 28-year-old maidservant when I was born. I was very close to her. She died when I was 18, and for the rest of my life I carried a picture of her with me. After her death, I went to Vienna to study art: my first job was as a street artist.

Me: So what? That gives you no right to talk about my mom like that.
Hitler: A foolish enquiry. *Same as above*

Me: Well I gotta go now.
Hitler: Does this face look bothered?

Me: Bye Bye.
Hitler: You really don't know, you moron? Get lost.

Me: Where should I get lost to?
Hitler: I'm currently sitting in cyperspace. It's really nice here, actually.

Me: Can I join you?
Hitler: No, get lost.

Me: Bye!
Hitler: I'd like to say I've enjoyed talking to you. But that would be a lie.

Me: I love you!
Hitler: I love my wife, my mother, and my Fatherland!

Me: Will you bear my chidren?
Hitler: I do apologise, but I don't know what you are getting at! Why not submit this question to ActiveHistory to update my brain?

Me: Alright, I'm out.
Hitler: Does this face look bothered?

Me: Whatever... weirdo...
Hitler: *closes window before he can respond*

[Chronic Diarrhea]

HAHA you guys got me rolling with these conversations!! biggrin: biggrin:

[Fireal]

Im taking it as you folks like hthat site lol.
I have talked to the webmaster about getting his brain updated