[TodzumPapst]

http://www.venganza.org/

[quote:612fd]OPEN LETTER TO KANSAS SCHOOL BOARD:

CC:

* DOVER SCHOOL BOARD (PENNSYLVANIA)
* OHIO STATE SCHOOL BOARD
* RIO RANCHO SCHOOL BOARD (NEW MEXICO)
* GRANTSBURG SCHOOL BOARD (WISCONSIN)
* COBB COUNTY SCHOOL BOARD(GEORGIA)
* SHELBY COUNTY SCHOOL BOARD(TENNESSEE)
* CHARLES COUNTY SCHOOL BOARD(MARYLAND)
* NAPERVILLE SCHOOL BOARD(ILLINOIS)
* DARBY SCHOOL BOARD (MONTANA)
* BLUFFTON-HARRISON SCHOOL BOARD (INDIANA)

I am writing you with much concern after having read of your hearing to decide whether the alternative theory of Intelligent Design should be taught along with the theory of Evolution. I think we can all agree that it is important for students to hear multiple viewpoints so they can choose for themselves the theory that makes the most sense to them. I am concerned, however, that students will only hear one theory of Intelligent Design.

Let us remember that there are multiple theories of Intelligent Design. I and many others around the world are of the strong belief that the universe was created by a Flying Spaghetti Monster. It was He who created all that we see and all that we feel. We feel strongly that the overwhelming scientific evidence pointing towards evolutionary processes is nothing but a coincidence, put in place by Him.

It is for this reason that I’m writing you today, to formally request that this alternative theory be taught in your schools, along with the other two theories. In fact, I will go so far as to say, if you do not agree to do this, we will be forced to proceed with legal action. I’m sure you see where we are coming from. If the Intelligent Design theory is not based on faith, but instead another scientific theory, as is claimed, then you must also allow our theory to be taught, as it is also based on science, not on faith.

Some find that hard to believe, so it may be helpful to tell you a little more about our beliefs. We have evidence that a Flying Spaghetti Monster created the universe. None of us, of course, were around to see it, but we have written accounts of it. We have several lengthy volumes explaining all details of His power. Also, you may be surprised to hear that there are over 10 million of us, and growing. We tend to be very secretive, as many people claim our beliefs are not substantiated by observable evidence. What these people don’t understand is that He built the world to make us think the earth is older than it really is. For example, a scientist may perform a carbon-dating process on an artifact. He finds that approximately 75% of the Carbon-14 has decayed by electron emission to Nitrogen-14, and infers that this artifact is approximately 10,000 years old, as the half-life of Carbon-14 appears to be 5,730 years. But what our scientist does not realize is that every time he makes a measurement, the Flying Spaghetti Monster is there changing the results with His Noodly Appendage. We have numerous texts that describe in detail how this can be possible and the reasons why He does this. He is of course invisible and can pass through normal matter with ease.

I’m sure you now realize how important it is that your students are taught this alternate theory. It is absolutely imperative that they realize that observable evidence is at the discretion of a Flying Spaghetti Monster. Furthermore, it is disrespectful to teach our beliefs without wearing His chosen outfit, which of course is full pirate regalia. I cannot stress the importance of this enough, and unfortunately cannot describe in detail why this must be done as I fear this letter is already becoming too long. The concise explanation is that He becomes angry if we don’t.

You may be interested to know that global warming, earthquakes, hurricanes, and other natural disasters are a direct effect of the shrinking numbers of Pirates since the 1800s. For your interest, I have included a graph of the approximate number of pirates versus the average global temperature over the last 200 years. As you can see, there is a statistically significant inverse relationship between pirates and global temperature.

In conclusion, thank you for taking the time to hear our views and beliefs. I hope I was able to convey the importance of teaching this theory to your students. We will of course be able to train the teachers in this alternate theory. I am eagerly awaiting your response, and hope dearly that no legal action will need to be taken. I think we can all look forward to the time when these three theories are given equal time in our science classrooms across the country, and eventually the world; One third time for Intelligent Design, one third time for Flying Spaghetti Monsterism, and one third time for logical conjecture based on overwhelming observable evidence.

Sincerely Yours,

Bobby Henderson, concerned citizen.

P.S. I have included an artistic drawing of Him creating a mountain, trees, and a midget. Remember, we are all His creatures.

[/quote:612fd]

[HeadUp]

sleeping:

[TodzumPapst]

Originally Posted by HeadUp

sleeping:

It might seem that i guess but how i came about it, made it hilarious for some reason. I had this huge debate with some people about If the bible was created because people were scared to die, and it was a way out of not being scared, so i was looking for some "Religious Debates" on google and i came about this and started reading and was prepared for this huge serious letter (wasnt paying attention about the other stuff around it) and then read the second paragraph and just started laughing.

[CoMaToSe]

/old sleeping:

PS I can answer that easilyenough: A singularity(small particle of matter 1 billionth the size of a proton) containing 98% of the matter that ever was or will be, suddenly began to expand. It is thearoized that matter and antimatter meeting caused this exponential expansion. In time, the final 2% of matter was formed through massive heat and pressure. w00t

[Mr.Buttocks]

No-one knows.

[Unknown_Sniper]

Im sticking to my theory that the universe is a giant rubberband that stretches then shrinks.

[CoMaToSe]

the universe will end one of two ways:
1: everything continues to expand until there is no cohesion between the atoms, and it all just drifts apart. (Some poepl think that some of these atoms can become singularities and expand into a new universe, like ours did. Like our universe is just one of many left from a previous universe)

2) The universe begins to contract, and the heat from the stars can no longer disappate, and all solids and liquids are boiled. Eventually, everything returns to the singularity

[Coleman]

Originally Posted by CoMaToSe

the universe will end one of two ways:
1: everything continues to expand until there is no cohesion between the atoms, and it all just drifts apart. (Some poepl think that some of these atoms can become singularities and expand into a new universe, like ours did. Like our universe is just one of many left from a previous universe)

2) The universe begins to contract, and the heat from the stars can no longer disappate, and all solids and liquids are boiled. Eventually, everything returns to the singularity

stop trying to be smart, and go suck on a 3ft elephant dick

[HeadUp]

no one has any fucking clue about how the universe came to be, no evidence just speculation...this article is still sleeping: tho..

[CoMaToSe]

Originally Posted by Coleman

stop trying to be smart, and go suck on a 3ft elephant dick

eek: But its true. I take a casual interest in theoretical quantum and astro physics.

[HeadUp]

Originally Posted by CoMaToSe

eek: But its true. I take a casual interest in theoretical quantum and astro physics.

stfu
[img]http://img351.imageshack.us/img351/1346/d73d22df7a3fe9f47cb508d06a7b9a.gif[/img]

[CoMaToSe]

^^hehe

[SoLiDUS]

The Universe just is. You might also like to know there are [Carl Sagan]billions and billions of stars in it...[/Carl Sagan]

[ninty]

and we are "a mote of dust suspended in a sunbeam."

[img]http://www.space.com/images/blue_dot_010925_03.jpg[/img]

[quote="Carl Sagan":633b2]I look at that dot and I think that's here, that's home, that's us. On that dot everyone you love, everyone you know, everyone you ever heard of, every human-being who ever lived, lived out their lives. The aggregate of all our joy and suffering thousands of confident and mutually exclusive religions, ideologies and economic doctrines, every hunter and forager, every hero and coward, every creator and destroyer of civilization, every king and peasant, every young couple in love every mother and father, every hopeful child, every inventor and explorer, every revered teacher of morals, every corrupt politician, every superstar, every supreme leader, every saint and sinner in the history of our species lived there on a mote of dust suspended in a sunbeam.

The earth is a very small stage in a vast cosmic arena. Think of the rivers of blood spilled by all those generals and emperors so that in glory and triumph they could become the momentary masters of a fraction of a dot. Think of the endless cruelties visited by the inhabitants of one corner of the dot on the scarcely distinguishable inhabitants of some other corner of the dot. How frequent their misunderstandings, how eager they are to kill one another, how fervent their hatreds. Think of those who derived their self esteem from dividing the dot into two hundred still littler patches. Our posturings, our imagined self- importance, the delusion that we have some privileged position in the universe are challenged by this point of pale light. Our planet is a lonely speck in a great enveloping cosmic dark.

In our obscurity, in all this vastness their is no hint that help will come from elsewhere to save us from ourselves, it is up to us. It's been said that astronomy is a humbling and even character building experience. There is perhaps no better demonstration of the folly of human conceits than this distant image of our tiny world. For me it underscores our responsibility, our profound responsibility to deal more kindly with one another and to preserve and cherish that pale blue dot the only home we have ever known. [/quote:633b2]

[Nyck]

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